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    February 24, 2005

    I cannot be held responsible for this, I had a fever!

    My apologies for not updating this week like a good little blogger, but snorting, sneezing and coughing up a lung or two took precedence over my new-found blog addiction. My absence from the internet has been brought to you by the letter F, which stands for Flu...Amongst other words I've been muttering under my breath.
    The highlight of my week was standing in line at Walgreen's, with a temperature of 102 degrees, an assortment of over the counter meds and a box of tampons, because yes, if you must know, its about that time TOO! I probably should have just stayed home, shivering under the covers on the couch, but venturing out into the world half delirious, PMS symptoms in full swing, with snot pouring out of my nose seemed like a grand idea at the time. So after standing in line for what felt like a twenty year prison sentence, I finally reach the cashier and put my items down. Cashier Boy starts tallying up my little shopping spree, at which point he discovers that the box of OB Tampons was open. Lovely! "No problem" he says, "I'll just run back and grab another package. I'll be right back". He comes back with a package of Johnson & Johnson rolled gauze and says "we must be out of the OB brand, but will this do? Its all the same anyway." I wasn't quite sure what to say and I stood there dumbfounded. For a moment I envisioned myself strangling him with the roll of gauze, but that eventually passed and I said, "well I'm not much into rolling my own tampons, but thanks anyway". He glanced at the OB box as he turned 14 different shades of red, realizing at that point that it was in fact, a package of tampons. I paid, and retreated back to my troll cave to hide under the covers.
    I'm sure at some point down the road, his girlfriend or future wife will want to thank me for that nice little emotional scar.
    Jack LaLanne Juicer

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