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    My version of a Totally Sque'd reality!

    April 27, 2005

    The rest of the story...

    When I first became aware of Fiancee #2, wasn't I sure that I wanted to blog about this at all. I didn't want it to turn into a big sympathy party, but the fact of the matter is that Brian's deployment is the primary reason I started this blog in the first place. It was a place for me to blow off steam and also show my love and support for him at the same time. He wasn't just "the boyfriend" with an honorable mention here and there. This blog was centered around our relationship, our lives, our interests, and his deployment. I couldn't very well just... not mention him again. While it is true that I often use humor in an attempt to make things more interesting, this blog is also about real feelings and events in my life. If there is anything you can count on from me, it's the fact that I am not afraid to be real with you and this break-up is a very real part of my life now.

    After attempting to add a bit of my often offbeat humor to yesterdays post, I realized that I dropped quite a bombshell without any warning whatsoever. To those of you who have come to love and care for the two of us over the past five months, I am sorry for that. That was not my intention. I just had no idea how to go about breaking the news. I didn't know what to say and I wasn't up for a long winded post, such as the one I am writing now! The hurt was, and still is very fresh. I have no desire to torture him or seek revenge. I don't have a vengeful, hateful bone in my body. I just needed this to be at least somewhat lighthearted and I failed at making it that, miserably.

    There really isn't all that much to the story. I last spoke to Brian in the early morning hours of Monday, the 18th. We talked via instant messenger. He had to leave for a meeting, but said he would be back. When he came back, I had fallen asleep here at the computer, with the volume turned down and I missed his return. I heard nothing from him for the rest of the week and he had not mentioned any upcoming missions as he usually does. I thought sure I would hear from him on Friday, but the day came and went without word from him. Throughout the week and weekend, I left several messages and emails for him with no response, and became increasingly concerned about his welfare. I began searching the casualty and fatality lists, as I often do when I get overly concerned. His name was not on any of those lists, but there were a number of bombings and explosions throughout Iraq that week. There were also many listings, with names yet to be released, pending notification of next of kin. This and the fact that it was unlike him to go so long without contact with me, caused me a great deal of concern. More so than my normal worrying.

    On Sunday morning, I'd decided that I couldn't stand it any longer and telephoned his Mother in Virginia. What you must know about his mother, is that she will not answer the phone without knowing who is calling. She has some sort of service, where you announce your name and she decides if she will answer. Upon hearing my name, she did. I asked her if she had heard from Brian and she confirmed that she did in fact speak with him on Friday. I found it odd at that point, that he made no attempt to contact me or respond to my messages. She asked where I was calling from and I said Texas. Upon hearing this, she said oh, I thought this was his Fiancee calling. I told her it was! She said "no, his new Fiancee Suzy {apparently we have the same name}, lives right down the street from me".

    There was silence...

    I said, "This is Suzy!"

    She says, "No, his new Fiancee's name is also Suzy and I'm telling you she lives right down the street from my house!" She continues, "I'm sorry, but looks like you've missed the boat!"

    Dead silence...

    "Missed the boat?!?!?" I'm thinking...WTF kinda shit is that to say? I was completely and utterly stunned. A million things were swimming around in my mind. I had no idea what to say next.

    "You're telling me there is some other girl he is planning to marry?!?!?"

    She says, "Yes, he told me about her about three weeks ago, and they are planning to be married when he gets back. I'm sorry, but I think you've missed the boat on this one!"

    There was dead silence again... I was beside myself that she seemed to be quite proud of her son and stunned that she sounded as if she were about to laugh!

    I said, " I hate to tell you this but it appears that you have raised quite the con-artist and pathological LIAR!!! You must be so proud of him! Congratulations on a job well done and thank you for the information!"

    All attempts thus far have not resulted in any response from him until his, {now deleted} comment in last nights post. After further investigation on Sunday, I found that his YIM name has been deleted. There hasn't been even one response from him in email. All attempts to contact him have failed to elicit a response. Since he is in Iraq, there are no other ways to establish contact with him. The man is a coward. His comments last night were a lame attempt to twist things around and place the blame on me, as most cheaters and liars tend to do. He had many chances to respond and/or try to explain his actions prior to that and he chose not to. {Sorry Brian, you won't get the chance to con people here.} He has shown no shame, no remorse and he is obviously a man without an ounce of honor. I feel like I do not know this person. This isn't the Brian that I know. Beyond that, I don't know what else to say. I hope he makes it home safely and that he finds himself with the life he deserves.

    PS...Why don't you people point out my spelling flub-ups? I just realized the difference between Fiance and Fiancee! There is a difference ya know?! I didn't! Doh! Fine time to learn it now!
    Jack LaLanne Juicer

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