My version of a Totally Sque'd reality!

A miss is as good as a mile!

2005-09-24T12:39:00.000-07:00

All is well today in the Sque household! I was up the majority of the night and fell asleep watching the storm coverage last night. The wind was howling and at some point we lost power, but it's back on this morning! Just minor debris litter's the streets here and there, but overall...It was a miss, that's for sure!

As much of a relief as this is for us and our community, I can't help feeling guilty for wishing it to turn way from us, toward Louisiana. I cannot help but think about our neighbors today. Those folks have suffered more devastation than I can even try to imagine. Please remember them in your prayers and by all means, if you have the means to do so, do what you can to help the relief efforts over there. I know I certainly will.

Chaos is putting it mildly...

2005-09-23T10:49:00.000-07:00

It looks a bit like Rita might be turning north and might hit around the Texas-Louisiana Border. Of course, you can't tell that by our local media! It's almost as if they are trying to strike fear into us on purpose. Each local station is saying something different. One says "there is no need to leave. Just expect tropical storm force winds [as if thats no big deal], heavy rain, thunder and the possibility of a tornado". Another station is saying emergency shelters in our area are closing and that voluntary evacuation "may" be encouraged. That evacuee's from the Houston/Galveston area are to continue north of our area, as we may be evacuating. Uhm Hello? There isn't an available hotel room in the State of Texas! Gasoline to go anywhere? Non-existant! I searched seven different stores yesterday for ONE friggen flashlight...Do you think I found one? Tea candles are the best I could some up with! Then I had to ask myself, why do I not own a flashlight? Normal people own flashlights. Sque does not own even one flashlight and the day I would like to buy a flashlight, our city is fresh out of...dare I say it again? Yes I shall. Flashlights!

Note to self: Buy a few flashlights after the hurrican passes FFS!

B/CS is my city... Please let that thing turn NORTH like it was forecasted to!

I really hate for Louisana to take more of a beating than they already have, but it's a very scary feeling to have that thing staring down our throats like that. Where ever it hits, I just pray all have evacuated and that as many folks as possible are spared even more devistation. Whew...I just don't see how Florida can keep withstanding these things.

I'll update again later. Stay tuned!

Anyone up for a hurricane Party?

2005-09-22T18:19:00.000-07:00

Not!

So yeah, we're in the direct path of Hurricane Rita! I have to admit that I have never really been through one of these, so I'm not sure what to expect. I recall one hitting the Galveston area in the mid 80's, but I was in Hawaii at the time, so really have no clue about these things. When we returned home, it seemed as though nothing had happened and at that point we were about 100 miles inland. I suppose the difference this time around is that I am roughly 150 miles inland and this freak of nature is a category FIVE! *Que-Rock you like a Hurricane* I may have to upload that now that I think about it! *grins*

See the red thingy up there in Texas? That is my current location and with any luck, my home will not be picked up and moved into another zip code.

The plan for now is that we'll stay put, but that may change! I will spend tomorrow securing patio furniture and stocking up on non perishable foods and batteries and lots of toilet paper in case I crap my pants! haha I may even go so far as buying a package of depends. Ya just never know and I shall not be caught unprepared! If it gets too bad, plan B is to panic and drive North like the big chicken that I am, at the last minute. Tia says she's ready and will travel! In fact, she is already asleep in the carrier! She's a smart one that cat!

In any case, I'll keep ya posted! I may even blog periodically during the night Friday and during the day Saturday! Assuming the electricity holds out through the storm. Now don't go getting all panicked! The Weather Channel is only calling for a 70% chance of rain, with 25 MPH winds at this point, for my area. I think I can survive that. Heck we have worse springtime thunderstorms worse than that! Lets just pray to keep the tornadoes away, shall we? I would really appreciate that, and some extra heavy duty prayers for those along the coast!

Updates on some other stuffs to come later!

Stay tuned for further weather developments.

Save, Save, Save! That's my new motto!

2005-08-23T00:07:00.000-07:00

I am finding that I'm liking this new job more and more each day. I had no idea that companies were so concerned about saving on gasoline! I kid you not, my company [which shall remain nameless because they have a strict blogging policy! Ugh!] actually gives cash incentives to those who carpool. They also hold monthly luncheons for those who are looking for others in their area to carpool with. There are incentives for using public transportation and they will allow certain employee's to work from home now when possible. They have also installed some very nice kitchen facilities [2 on each floor] for employee's to make lunches and some co-workers even take turns preparing lunch meals each day to feed x number of people. All you have to do to participate is cook 1 meal per 13 days that will feed x number of people. The number changes periodically as more gain interest or no longer wish to participate. I just recently joind that particular bandwagon myself! The reason they've done this is an effort to help us avoid leaving work for lunch and again, avoid wasting even more gasoline and money of course. I'm guessing this is the same reason they implemented in house day care as well. Of course there are other bonuses to that. I know if I had kids, I would love the fact that I wasn't across town if my child needed me!

Yesterday, we received a memo that they are building a very large workout type facility that will be available to us next Spring. These facilities will include a swimming pool, saunas, showers, an indoor track, workout equipment, free weights, cardiovascular workouts, raquetball courts, basketball courts, aerobics and trainers to assist us with daily workout needs! I can't remember everything they listed, but it was a huge list to be sure! I am totally jazzed about this!

I am very impressed to say the least. I'm kinda getting into this whole economical savings thing. In fact, I may even start doing my dishes, showering and getting ready for work each morning right there at the office! You know...Just to save water and stuff! I wonder if any of my future dinner guests would freak out I did my dishes while I shower?

How did this happen?!!

2005-08-18T13:14:00.000-07:00

Today....Patrick Swayze is 51 years old. Yes, you heard me correctly FIFTYFRIGGENONE!!! Is it just me or does FIFTYONE sound like he's got one foot in the grave already?! I am just dumbfounded. Patrick Swayze used to be such a cute boy and now he is FIFTY ONE? How do things like this this happen? You don't just go from drop dead gorgeous, hunk-o-burnin' love status to fiftyone overnight!

This has to be one of the greatest love scenes of my generation.

But OH.MY.GOD HE'S FIFTYONE!!! We must take him out back and shoot him now because I do not want to ever in my lifetime admit to lusting over someone who is actually FIFTYONE!!!

What time zone is this again?!

2005-08-12T14:00:00.000-07:00

So I was up late last night, ass deep in boxes and apparently totally consumed with finding things and putting them in their rightful places. I felt a yawn coming on, turned to look around for a clock to see what time it might be and found there wasn't a clock in sight. I hadn't gotten around to unpacking any clocks yet. About 6 boxes later I was on the floor in the bathroom emptying... [you guessed it] ...A BOX and I'd almost fallen asleep right there holding a box of tampons and Desitin ointment. Don't ask. I have no idea whatsoever why I have a tube of Desitin in my possession. Maybe I had a buttrash that I don't recall having or perhaps I was in a pinch for some white face paint and had to improvise. I dunno. I cannot explain it and it may well be The Mystery of The Century, which shouldn't be confused with The Trial of The Century, but perhaps Michael would like to borrow my Desitin?! Ya know, in case he is in need of some white face paint. And has to improvise.

What?

Don't look at me like that! I'm just sayin'.

Anyway, moments later I was rummaging through several boxes in search of a clock and then it dawned on me! My computer has a clock! Quick run to the computer and my lord it's 4:22 AM! EEEK! Yeah, so I brushed my teeth and went to bed and guess what?

I just woke up.

And its 4:08 PM.

This isn't good news people.

I have had my new job a total of 5 days and not only have I WAYYYY overslept, but I also did not call in to tell them I would not be gracing them with my presence today.

Smooth move eh?

I have no idea how I am going to explain this and a good excuse hasn't fallen out of the sky yet either.

I could tell them that there was a family emergency I suppose, but I am always afraid if I use something like that for an excuse we will actually HAVE a family emergency and then I wouldn't be able to live with myself and well, I really don't have anyone else to live with and if I have to move out, who else would there be for me to talk to around here?

Yeah.

Don't say it.

I'll just go pick up that prescription now!

Whole lot'o shakin' going' on

2005-08-10T01:32:00.000-07:00

Okay...Everyone breathe with me now! Inhale in...And exhale slowly. Deep cleansing breath in, deep cleansing breath out. Okay, stop. You're beginning to sound like obscene phone callers!!!

I promise everything is fine with me. I will confess that I was having a rough time if it for a while. From the time Brian and I broke up, through the end of June, things were a bit crazy around here and the craziness became a bit overwhelming. Rest assured that I have pulled myself together and things are going well now.

I didn't set out to totally ignore my blog and I have missed you guys like crazy. I have so much to update on it isn't even funny! I've moved...Also landed a new job too! I am extremely happy about that! Things seem to be on a much more positive track now and I am feeling much, much better all around.

So hang in there guys! I'm workin' like a dog getting things wrapped up with the move and I'll be blogging again in no time! I promise!!! Thank you all for your concern and encouragement and emails and care and support and jokes and all the pornography links and the discount Viagra links and the penis enlargement information. You guys really know how to come through for a buddy and make her feel better! You guys are so awesome!

What's that?

You didn't send the porn, Viagra and bigger weenie information?

*Crickets begin chirping*

They say the mind is the first thing to go!

2005-06-28T03:42:00.000-07:00

And apparently that is a true statement. I was out of town all day yesterday, woke up this morning, checked my voice mail and realized that yesterday...was my birthday. Umm HELLO?!!
I say to hell with it. I'll just remain 28 forever! Yeah...28 sounds like a good number. We'll go with that one.

I can honestly say that this has never happened to me before. Could one of you help me remove my head from my uhm...back door?

Have you already had your last chance?

2005-06-19T02:52:00.000-07:00

It has been a very sad week for the Sque family. This past week, my niece; my sister in law's daughter from a previous marriage, was killed in a car accident. Actually, she and her boyfriend were both killed...instantly. They were both 23 years old and have a 2 year old daughter.

While this has been very upsetting to all of us, I can only hope that she [they] are finally free of the demons that have been haunting them for so long. They both had severe drug problems and their lives over the past few years had been spinning out of control. It started with several car accidents, both arrested for drugs, a little jail time, their daughter being removed from their home, fights with parents and family. Right before this happened, my niece was about to lose custody of her own daughter, permanently. She was given one last chance by the judge, to try and get her act together. Her own mother had temporary custody of her daughter and she was to check into rehab this past weekend. She never made it. Little did anyone know, she'd already had her last chance.

I guess someone else is in charge of last chances.

I don't know or understand much about death or what happens to us when we're gone, but I hope somehow, she is given a chance to start over if that's possible. She was a beautiful, intelligent, wonderful person. I'm not sure where things went wrong for her. Perhaps she took a wrong turn somewhere, but I know in my heart that this wasn't the path that she was destined to. I cannot imagine that this was God's plan for her. All I know is that I hope she can somehow have another chance to shine. It is also my hope that her daughter Madison will not be haunted by this for the rest of her life. We love her and will do our best to see her through. I pray that God will guide her throughout her life and that he has many many blessings in store for her.

Any prayers, good juju's or whatever your thing is, send some her way please.

And the verdict is....?

2005-06-13T14:03:00.000-07:00

Update:

Wow, not guilty verdicts on all charges! I can't say I saw that coming. I was hoping for a not guilty verdict because I have been such a huge fan, but I wish I felt more certain about his innocence. I really hate the media circus surrounding these types of trials, but in a way I wish I could have heard the evidence as it was presented. Mostly because I'd like to put this to rest in my own mind. I was able to watch or record most of the OJ Simpson trial, and although I believed the evidence, and believed him to be guilty, I was able to understand why that jury came up with their verdict. As presented, they had no other choice. I guess in this particular case, all I can do is hope this is the right verdict and that justice has been served appropriately.

_________________________________________________

I heard the news that the jurors have a verdict in the Jackson trial and I gotta say, I'm sort of nervous for the guy. I was/still am a fan. I've had mixed feelings about this whole thing all along. I mean, the thought of someone doing that to a child just...sends me into orbit and if the guy is guilty, god help him! He deserves whatever he gets and probably then some! On the other hand, I can totally see how greed might drive someone to falsely accuse him. Both situations enrage and sadden me.

Unlike the OJ Simpson murder case, we have not been privy to daily testimony in this trial, so I wouldn't dare offer a guess at what the truth is or what the verdict might be. All I hope for is justice.

Now Playing: She's got the rhythm, I've got The Blues, By: Alan Jackson

Oh how I hate Murphy's Law

2005-06-07T07:48:00.000-07:00

I can't imagine what I must have done to get on his bad side, but Murphy sure seems to be pissed at me for some reason. Murphy has to be of the male gender!

My Dad went to the hospital on Thursday for a "procedure", and ended up staying nearly a week. He had been complaining of not having any energy, then after some testing, his doctors found his blood count to be very low. This meant he was losing blood somewhere. There were no obvious signs that he was losing blood so it didn't start out as a huge deal, but they needed to top off his tank. So he received several pints of blood, but that didn't quite do it, so they gave him more. By Sunday, his blood count was going down again. After yesterday's colonoscopy, they discovered bleeding ulcers, took him off all blood thinners and aspirin which he had been taking since his stroke last summer, then gave him more blood. Today he seems much better and will likely be going home tomorrow afternoon. Thankfully, this round of health issues has been far less dramatic than the health issues he's been struggling with for the past couple of years!

In other news, what started out as a small wet spot on my dining room ceiling has become a large gaping hole! Apparently my air conditioner is creating condensation...Somewhere and...something...Somewhere is blocked and this is causing water to drip from somewhere. I am not familiar with the inner workings of it all. All I know is that I can live with a gaping hole in the ceiling as long as the A/C continues to cool my home. For all I care, the entire ceiling can fall in, but if my house is cool, I'm cool too. So for now, I am still in good spirits. If we don't have coolness, then we will indeed have a disaster on our hands and someone may need to come shoot me. While you're at it, shoot Murphy too because I hate that little bastard.

Now Playing: Don't make Me come over there and love You, By: George Strait

So, moving right along...

2005-05-31T10:32:00.000-07:00

Alright folks, I've decided I'm done with the whole drama of the past couple of weeks! Today is my day off, there are cute boys at the pool and tunes and drinks and did I mention the cute boys at the pool yet? Yes! There are some very hot boys at my pool and although they are a few years younger than I like, I am headed out for some rays. Hey...there is a huge difference between "thirtysomething" and DEAD!

We may even fire up the grill later.

Anyone care to join us?

Of course I can never just let anything go...

2005-05-29T22:25:00.000-07:00

So I'll continue my thoughts here, without the "colorful" language this time. Sorry for all that, but when you gotta vent, you should vent. So I vented!

Since the conversation, I have been avoiding him like the plague. I didn't know what to say and well, I'm just a wuss that way. When I'm too upset about something, I avoid it and pretty much everything and everyone! So this weekend, I turned on my IM's and there were several messages from both of them. He was apologizing profusely. She didn't seem to know anything about it, so when I saw him online later, I decided I needed to know what was going on so I asked. Again, he apologized profusely! I did accept the apology, but I pretty much let him have it and told him that was about the dumbest thing he's ever done, at least to my knowledge! He agreed.

So he informed me that he hasn't told her anything and I agreed that I wasn't going to tell her anything [for now] because, well, I'm a wuss and I just can't justify further endangering their, otherwise great relationship. My reasoning here is that he hasn't actually acted on his feelings....he's made them known, yes, but that's as far as it has gone. He has not made any physical advances toward me at all. Despite my thoughts on his motives, thinking about doing something and actually doing it are two different things. If I knew he had cheated on her, then that would be whole 'nother ball of wax. You bet your ass I'd tell her in a heartbeat. In any case, I did tell him that if he pursued this any further, I would indeed tell her and I also encouraged him to try and get them into some sort of counseling. I know and he knows that, despite a few minor issues, they have a really good marriage and relationship. I am hoping they can work those things out and continue to have a great marriage. I hope that I am doing the right thing and I hope that ...If things ever go awry between them, that she will understand that this was an extremely difficult decision to make and that I'm doing what I think is best for their relationship and our friendship. I'm trying to avoid making things worse and well...I'm a wuss too, but she already knows that. If I am making a huge mistake here, I hope she can find a way to forgive me. I dont want to keep anything from her, but telling her will undoubtedly open another can of worms. This sucks!!!

Sorry for rambling. I'm sort of thinking this out as I go. I am trying to clarify and solidify my thoughts and feelings as I type this, so excuse me if this isn't making sense. UGH...I just hate this hole situation. I am still sad, still hurt and angry and furious and still confused. Part of me feels like I'm doing the right thing, and another part of me wants to beat the crap out of him. I feel like I'm being too easy on him.

It's almost 2 AM! I'm too tired to think about this anymore. I need sleep.

I am also thinking about deleting these 2 posts. I'm a little afraid that one of my friends might stumble upon my blog someday and I'm thinking I don't want this buried in my archives for someone to discover. So whaddya think? Should I?

I know!

Lets all say it together now...

WWWWWUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Pardon me while I vent...

2005-05-28T01:51:00.000-07:00

Here's your warning! If you can't handle raw feelings, a few F-Bombs and such, then hit the X in the top right of your screen and do not read any further. I shall resume normal blogging at some point after this post.

I have been out of sorts lately and I guess I just need to get this out. Feel free to comment if you like, but I already know the answers for the most part. I just need to vent or ...something.

The week before last, I had a very disturbing conversation with a dear dear friend of mine. A friend I have known since middle school. I was totally taken off guard to hear that he now has feelings for me. [Can't Imagine why either!] Now normally, this wouldn't be so upsetting, but there are other factors that come into play here.

1. He's married!

2. His wife and I have been very close friends almost from the moment he introduced me to her some eleven years ago.

3. They have two beautiful children together.

I was stunned, to say the least, by his announcement and now that has turned into hurt and anger! My first question to him was what he hoped to accomplish by sharing his feelings with me. His response was that he just needed to get it off his chest and be upfront about it. WTF ever! My feeling on the matter is that I believe he hoped I might be agreeable to an affair, which is absolutely out of the question. [See #70 on my 100 Things List] In fact ANYTHING other than friendship is out of the question! I do not have romantic feelings toward him.

At this point, I am furious beyond belief! I am upset that he could possibly even consider an affair or cheating on his wife/my friend. I also thought he had higher regard for both of us! I am hurt and angry that he would think I could even consider committing adultery and even more upset that he might be willing to do so, although he says that isn't the case. Needless to say, I don't buy that. I don't mean to jump to conclusions and for crying out loud, if I am, please set me straight, but I see no other reason for him to share such feelings with me if that isn't what he was hoping for. The bastard! What good could come of it?? None that I can think of. He certainly wasn't "being upfront" with his WIFE about it! Furthermore, I am FURIOUS that his "sharing" has put me in such an awkward position. What the hell am I supposed to say to his wife? How am I supposed to talk to her and pretend this conversation never happened? Although they live four hours away, we talk on the phone and on IM all the time. I can't very well confide in her! Am I supposed to tell her? That would be disasterous and it certainly isn't something I even want to think about doing! I'd rather die than tell her something like this! I can't confide in any of my other friends either because, 1. Most of us have known each other since we were in elementary or middle school and, 2. My other friends are friendly with them as well. So as of the date of that conversation, I haven't spoken to either of them. I don't know what, if any conversations have transpired between the two of them since. I don't even want to know! All I know is that I have no idea what to do with this or how to resolve my feelings about it. I'm just fucking furious and hurt and I'm really hating men right about now. I really wish he had put more thought into this. In all likelihood, whatever feelings he thinks he has will soon pass and here he's gone and fucked up a perfectly good friendship. Probably two friendships, not to mention that he could very well be putting his marriage at risk too! UGH! What an idiot!!!

The Musical Meme

2005-05-25T07:57:00.000-07:00

I've been tag teamed yet again! This time the culprits are Gem and Suzanne! Do you guys lose sleep at night thinking about who you're gonna tag team next? LOL, Thanks guys!

1. Total volume of music files on my computer?

I have a grand total of 501. *Looks around innocently*

2. The last CD I bought was?

Sara Evans: Restless [I love love love Sara Evans music!!]

3. What song is playing right now?

Josh Gracin: Nothin' To Lose [Remember him from American Idol III? This is a recent #1 hit on the country charts for him! And I hope he sent Simon Cowell a nice F-You note!]

4. Five songs I listen to a lot or that mean a lot to me (in no particular order):

Diamond Rio: I believe

Travis Tritt: Anymore

Sara Evans: Suds In The Bucket

Selena: Como La Flor

Good grief...you people know me better than this! I can't name just 5! I listen to a lot of stuff! Garth Brooks, Big n Rich, Gretchen Wilson, Alan Jackson...the list is endless! I listen to Country, Rock, Disco, R&B, Rap, Spanish music... the list is endless! If I have the song, it has meaning to me in some way.

5. Which 3 people are you passing this baton to, and why?

See that blogroll over to the right? Go look at it and if you're blog is on it, you get the baton! MUAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAA Why? Because I love you and I don't want to leave anyone feeling left out. Go on...get after it!

If you've already done it, then you're off the hook....this time.

Now Playing: I've Got A Feelin', By: Billy Currington

Photo's from the Wedding Design Class

2005-05-24T09:21:00.000-07:00

The pictures can be seen here. I only got pictures of designs I created or helped participate in, but there were so many fabulous designs, I wish I could have taken more, but what can ya do?! A new digital camera is next on the list of major purchases and I say "major" purchase because I'm not getting a cheapy this time around! Must pinch pennies and use what I have for now though.

That's all I have for now. Although the class was a nice distraction, I'm in a very weird place...Emotionally. Still a little too upset to put it into words coherently, but I'll eventually get around to it. What I'd really like to do is go stick my head in the sand!

There's no place like home!

2005-05-22T09:43:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad to be home! I left Friday and went to a contemporary wedding floral design course in Houston. It was lots of fun, but very hot and humid. Of course we were inside most of the time, but the heat made even driving around town miserable. The upside is that I got to bring all my designs HOME and now my house is smelling heavenly! There were some others who flew in from other states, that didn't get to take theirs, so I brought those home as well. A few of them didn't fare so well, but most of the designs did. I think I'm going to take some to one of the nursing homes close by and maybe brighten someone's day.

More tomorrow! In the meantime, I thought this was kinda fun. Seems pretty accurate I guess, but I get along really well with people who are sarcastic. I'd never break up over that of all things!

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... No secrets.

Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Heads Up

2005-05-19T05:48:00.000-07:00

To avoid any undue concern, just want to let you know I'm taking a brief break from the blogworld. Crazy things going on around here and I need a bit to get my head around it. Will be out of town this weekend as well. I'll be checking in on you guys as I can. Be well.

By the way...My little Guest Map over there needs some attention! I never imagined I would ask anyone to do this, but go mark your territory!

Idol anyone?

2005-05-18T11:42:00.000-07:00

Anyone watching Idol this week? I am trying hard to get over my PMS and focus on other things...Like who's gonna get the boot tonight. With this show, you never can tell! We're down to the final 2 after tonight! Weeeee!

So I had the day off today and since the cleaning fairy has obviously forgotten where I live, I've been doing the domestic thing today. Sorry folks, nothing exciting going on. Tonight for Idol night, we're having Beer Butt Chicken! Mmmmm!

Ingredients:

1 roasting chicken, approx. 4 pounds 1 12-ounce can beer (I use Lone Star. It's a Texas thing)

¼ C. Spice rub of your choice, plus 2 tbsp.

Pam cooking spray

Light charcoal or preheat gas grill to 350° F. You'll be cooking indirectly, so light only one side of the grill. Pour off a few ounces of the beer, no more than 1/3. If you're going to use wood chips, which I highly recommend, pour the beer over them and let them soak while you get everything else ready.

Using a bottle opener or other suitable tool, carefully make two or three other holes in the top of the beer can to allow maximum vapor escape. Add 1 tbsp. Of the spice rub to the beer in the can. Remove excess fat from the chicken, then rub it down inside and out with the dry rub. Make sure to put plenty inside the body cavity and neck opening. Spray the outside of the can with cooking spray and set it in a shallow pan which will fit on your grill. Put the chicken onto the can slowly, and adjust the legs to make a "tripod" shape so the bird won't roll over.

Carefully move the pan to the grill and place it away from the heat, for indirect cooking. If using wood chips, drain them and put them on the coals now, or in your smoker box on top of the burner.

Roast until your probe thermometer reads 165° F. Deep in the breast meat. Remove from heat and allow to rest for at least 20 minutes before carving.

NOTE: This CAN also be done in the oven. Start at 400° F. For 20 minutes, then reduce heat to 350° until done.

I have surpassed the "From 0 to Bitch in 2.5 seconds" rule

2005-05-18T04:46:00.000-07:00

My uterus is not my friend! The first chance I get to evict that bitch it's outta here!!!

I'd like to upgrade to a new model please. Preferably one that hasn't reached puberty.

Opinions: Everybody's got one!

2005-05-17T07:14:00.000-07:00

Given the recent event's in my life, I have decided I am not going to date for a while. I am going to take some time to reflect and decide what is best for Sque. In the meantime, I've got some things rolling around in this brain of mine and perhaps you can help.

For a while now I've been thinking about my "type". Now that I am single again, I find my self wondering if I should focus on my type or letting the cards fall where they may. It seems to me that if you focus too much on "type", then you may be overlooking some really cool people.

For most of my "dating life", I've had no clue what my type was. It wasn't until I met someone that I really clicked with that I even realized there might be a "type" for me. I dated this person for seven months prior to meeting the tosser. We had tons of things in common. Everything from tastes in music, to political opinions, to common goals and life dreams, with lots more in between. Everything seemed to fit and the chemistry between us was amazing! By now, you must be wondering why, if this person was your type and so amazing, aren't you with this person and why were you planning to marry the Tosser! Valid questions!

The person of which I speak [we'll call him RC for Robo-Cop...Yes, he was a cop too] had been recently divorced, had 2 young daughters and had recently moved back to Texas. We met, everything clicked, his daughters spent most of the summer with him and everything was grand. After RC's daughters returned home to their mother in another state, he realized he was miserable living so far away from them. I couldn't blame him. I would have been too. The love he had for his girls was part of what attracted me to him. His commitment to his children reminded me very much of my own father and I supported his decision to move closer to them so that he could be a part of their lives. At that point, neither of us were anywhere near ready to commit to anything permanent, so we opted for the long distance type of relationship. It worked for a while, then it became clear that it was painfully difficult and entirely too expensive to maintain, so we amicably parted ways.

I later met the tosser and although he didn't exactly fit what I believed to be my "type", I fell in love with him. I don't want to reminisce too much on that because at this point, I'd just as soon forget that chapter of my life for obvious reasons. My point here is that deep down, and I hate to admit this, I wonder if I was settling. I have enjoyed the single life, except for the dating part and marriage has not been a top priority for me, but looking back on it now I can't help but wonder what I was thinking! I realize now that although I loved him and we were attracted to each other, that amazing chemistry wasn't there. We had things in common, but some of the things I realize now are important to me just were not there.

So during this period of reflection, I turn to you my friends. We've all been here and I think most of you can relate in some way, whether you're single, just dating, in a serious, non married relationship or married. We may focus on this for a while around here if there's enough interest. Lord knows I need some input and what better place is there to find an opinion?! I welcome it from anyone, male and female alike. Lurkers...I'm talking to you too! I know you have opinions!

Today's question: Did or do you currently focus on people that are your "type" or is that over-rated?

I vote we do away with Monday's!

2005-05-16T11:25:00.000-07:00

My apologies for not being on top of things today. It's Monday and I'm draggin' ass. Whoever invented Mondays should be shot. [Disclaimer: I am not advocating that anyone be shot, I'm just sayin'!]

In other news, Six Flags Astro-World was very much fun! Saturday, five adults and myself [who is not yet an adult] adopted a few brats for the day and all 14 of us wreaked havoc on the place. I am not sure how we managed to avoid it, but you'll be happy to hear that we were not kicked out on our tushies. The good news is that we had sense enough to go before the typical, Texas summertime temperatures reached 2000 degrees and I did not suffer from heat exhaustion during this trip! I avoided caffeine, which is what did me in the last time, and although I would have killed for an ice cold Dr Pepper, I sipped water all day like a good girl. Thus my sanity and ability to sweat remained in tact!

This, however, made me cry and fear for my life, which brought about some things that might have left others questioning my sanity, but we won't discuss that any further. Suffice it to say, I do not recommend this ride.

One thing I found particularly funny this weekend was a conversation I had with T's daughter, J. She and her friend were telling us that some of their friends have had sex. After some gentle questioning, I discovered that at 12, she wasn't exactly sure about all the details of sex, but she proudly informed me that she knows what 96 is! It was then that it became clear that she certainly knows a hell of a lot more than I do!

Public Service Announcement

2005-05-13T10:22:00.000-07:00

Do you people realize it is Friday the 13th?!

A few rules you may want to consider:

-No going to the basement alone
-Lock the door to the bathroom during daily hygiene rituals
-Remain part of the group and do not wander away unless you want your head chopped off
-Stay away from power tools that just happen to be running when they shouldn't be
-Do not drop what you're doing to investigate odd noises
-No bonking in the woods

If I have left anything out, post it in comments and help keep your fellow bloggers alive and well!

Have a wonderful weekend.

That is all

How do you tell someone to lose your number?

2005-05-11T23:47:00.000-07:00

He may work on the 9th floor, but I don't think there's much goin' on upstairs! Don't get me wrong. He is very nice looking, but as far any brain activity goes, he's pretty much a dud. Mr. 9th Floor called Tuesday night. We talked for a while and for some reason, it just wasn't clicking. I dunno how to explain it really. For one, he seems to like to talk baby talk and then a later reference to me as his "future wifey" had me searching for the eject button! EEEK!

From now on I won't give it up so easily. The digits I mean.

I admit that I'm not very good at this whole dating thing. One thing I'm rotten at is saying "sorry, but you're not my type". We talked again briefly last night before I went out with some friends. I basically thanked him for lunch again and cut the conversation short. He asked if I was busy this weekend and I truthfully told him I have plans. He didn't seem to get it and said he'd give me a call Sunday. I told him I probably wouldn't be home until late. He says, "Ok, I'll talk to you on Monday". Like a dork, I said "Okay".

Ugh!

Just shoot me now please.

RE: Michele - I did in fact ask him about his blog and get this! He said he was just kidding, that he didn't really have a blog. Um...hello? Who lies about having a blog?!! I can maybe see lying and saying you don't have one... I think maybe that's really the case. lol

The Scoop

2005-05-10T12:02:00.000-07:00

Lunch was nice! He's a guy that works in my building and we've been eyeballing each other in the elevator most mornings. I work on the 7th floor and he works on the 9th. I found out Saturday that he tapped the brain of one of my colleagues to see if I was single! Well, as luck would have it I AM! So yesterday he asked me for a lunch date and of course, I accepted.

I was a bit nervous, but we grazed, we talked and we had a very nice time. Unfortunately, like the slut that I am, I gave it up! He asked for the digits and I gave them up faster than the national deficit rises per second! I did not, however, rake everything off the table and ravage his body. I think I can hold out a little bit longer on that one. The good news is that I didn't drool even once. Ok, well I did once, but he didn't see so that doesn't count.

All in all, we had a very nice time. One funny thing did happen.

Here's part of our parting conversation...

Him: I am so gonna blog about this lunch date!

Me: Oh so you're a Blogger?

Him: Who doesn't have a blog?

Me: Well fine, I'm blogging about this too then!

We gotta find his BLOG!!!

Today's post is brought to you by the letter G because I can't think of a quippy title.

2005-05-10T06:50:00.000-07:00

Today is my first official date since the tosser became the tosser.

We're getting together for our daily midday grazing ritual. How sexy is that?!!

I may stop by Target for one of these, you know, to keep food off my blouse and to contain the drooling. [Mine, not his.]

Thankful: It's what's for Supper

2005-05-09T03:07:00.000-07:00

If there is one thing my Father is known for it is his ability to turn a piece of bovine flesh into the most orgasmic grilled steak one might ever have the privilege of sinking their teeth into. Even live cows from the pasture come strolling up, drooling over the aroma that drifts from the grill as he cooks those steaks! Suffice it to say that when my dad is grilling steak, we make damn sure to show up with a voracious appetite!

On one such occasion, we all gathered around the dinner table as we were about to have dinner. As usual, we were about to say grace, when my then eight year old niece Sierra offered to say the prayer. My Step-Mom told her she could and we bowed our heads. She began our typical dinner prayer..."Come Lord Jesus, be our guest and let this food to us be blessed". When she got to the end, instead of saying Amen, Sierra began her own list of things that she was thankful for. "Thank you Jesus for my Mommy & Daddy, thank you for my Aunt Suzy and the new Barbie she bought for me, thank you for Granny & Papa, and thank you for my Brother and Sister". At this point I'm thinking okay, she's included just about everyone, she'll be wrapping this up here in a second. She continues, "Thank you Jesus for my cousins Tara, Merritt and Donovan and Riley and Taylor and Tucker and Tanner and Chase and"... I'm thinking good grief I'm starving and I think our food is getting cold, I wish she'd hurry up! Sierra continues, "and thank you for my Sunday school teacher and all my friends at Sunday School, like Heather, Kara, Lauren and Dillon and Katie and"... The list of things she was thankful for had seemingly become miles long. At this point my stomach has gone beyond growling. I look up slightly at my dad and a few others and although her prayer was very sweet, we were all drooling over the steak in front of us like a mad dogs with rabies. She continued, "And thank you for our new puppies and our cat and our mama dog and"... I began humming songs in my head to distract myself from the hunger pangs. "And thank you for GrandMother D and for letting us ride in her golf cart, and thank you for all the fish we caught and thank you for Tara's gold fish too and thank you for my whole family. In your name we pray"... I'm thinking YES, she's done! She continues, "Oh and thank you for whatever it is... That... Thing... That my Mommy and Daddy did to make me. Amen". I looked up to see eight eyes bulging out of their sockets! All nine of us tried as hard as we could to choke back the snorts and giggles!

Oh yes indeed Sierra! We must all be thankful for that! You have no Idea how thankful we are!

I don't think we will be letting her pray out loud once she is old enough to figure that one out.

Happy Mother's Day

2005-05-08T08:25:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day! Whether you're a Mom, Dad, Son or Daughter, Mother's Day is to be celebrated and I hope each of you are having a fabulous day.

Over the past week, Mother's have been the main topic of discussion around here. Today it's your turn. Everyone is included! Please share with us the fondest memory of your Mother, your Grandmother or your experience as a Mother or parent.

Wondering

2005-05-07T07:11:00.000-07:00

Why there are Books, CD's, Laundry, bicycle parts and various other items all over my neighbor's roof, porch, lawn and hedges.

Update:

It seems the guys had a little get together Friday night. One of the guys left with a female guest and another guest informed his girlfriend Saturday morning. The girlfriend showed up Saturday morning and found that he hadn't been home all night, trashed his belongings and threw the majority of it outside while the roommates slept. Last I heard she was spending the night [Saturday night] in the luxurious accommodations of the country jail!

What I didn't see were some of his PC components she had thrown in the pool! Damnit I hate missing good photo opportunities!

Now Playing: Gettin' Jiggy With It, By: Will Smith

Adopted - Part III - The Conclusion

2005-05-06T03:20:00.000-07:00

I didn't hesitate to open the letter and was thrilled to see it was five pages long!

The first line read:
I have loved you from the minute I knew you existed and I have never stopped.

The flood of tears began and I remember vividly the sting of my tears as I red her letter. She told me that she never had another child. That the only one she ever wanted, she couldn't have. She told me about her family, her life, her two failed marriages and a hysterectomy at the age of thirty-eight. She divulged that she had been seeing a therapist for years in an effort to deal with her feelings over the years. She shared with me her love for animals and dreams of someday riding and owning her own horse. I was told a great deal about my ancestry and how she had been working for years on a family tree, in hopes of someday sharing it with me. She told me of the little girl charm, with my birthstone on it, that she wore on a bracelet nearly every year on my birthday. She wrote, "I didn't feel I deserved to wear it the rest of the year, but it was my way of honoring you and the day you were born". I had been sure she didn't even remember my birthday, much less celebrate it. Over the past weeks I had run the gamut on emotions, but at this moment my heart was full of happiness. If I never heard another word from her, I would be content with this knowledge. The only thing I hoped for at this point was a chance to let her know that she indeed deserved to wear that charm, because it was she who had given me life.

There were pictures included with the letter. A few of her, one of my Maternal Grandparents, my Aunt and her Son - my cousin. This was the first time I had ever laid eyes on people who were actually related to me. I immediately noticed that I looked a little like her younger sister. The next thing I noticed would change the course of events for both of us. There was writing on the back of each picture, that was covered with White-Out. [By now you should know me well enough to know where this is going.]

Naturally, curiosity got the better of me and I immediately searched for something to try and scratch it off. I wasn't about to let a little White-Out keep me from even more information! Beneath the White-Out were the first and last names of everyone in the pictures. I immediately summoned T to come read the letter and we devised a plan!

I had decided that I'd had enough of that adoption agency and I would be taking matters into my own hands. We located two telephone numbers listed with my BM's name in the area we thought she lived. We called one and found it was actually a convenience store. With the other I got an answering machine with a woman's voice. I hung up, sure that it was her and I had no idea what to say. Thank god for T! She called back and left a message. She gave a brief explanation of the situation and said that if we had the correct person, I had received her letter. She went on to say that if she was ready and felt comfortable, I would welcome a call from her. She left my telephone number and we waited. About two hours later she called back. T and I stared at each other, both of us petrified. I made T answer and she confirmed that it was in fact the right person, then handed the phone over to me. Her first words to me were, "You have the sweetest voice I've ever heard." I noted that our voices sounded very similar. My insides were shaking at this point. There were a few tears and awkward moments, but after the initial few minutes, it was like we were old friends, catching up after years of separation. She was thrilled at the opportunity to talk to me and totally understood my frustration with the agency. She had been upset with them as well. S had given them her letter the Tuesday before the Fourth of July weekend so that I would have it before the holiday. She found out on the following Tuesday afternoon that the letter had been sitting on Mrs. Houston's desk the entire week! We were both upset at this. Together we decided to tell the agency we would handle it from here.

During that conversation and many more over the next two months, we shared the stories of our lives. She was saddened to hear that my parents eventually divorced. One of the main things she wanted for me, was to have a Mother and a Father. I assured her that hadn't changed, they just weren't married anymore. I told her I had one sister and a Step-Brother. She told me I had an older Half-Brother, my Birth-Father's son from his first marriage. I made note of his name, and later established contact with my older Brother.

We eventually got around to the reason for my adoption. My BF had been married before and had a son four years older than me. My BF's marriage ended and at some point later, he was engaged to my BM. She was 22 at the time she became pregnant. After telling him of her pregnancy, he told her that he could no longer have children and that, with the exception of his son, he hated kids. He made it clear to her in that conversation that she was on her own. She broke off the engagement and never spoke to him again. To her knowledge, he had never finished high school, much less law school. His parents never knew of her pregnancy as far as she knew. She was still living at home and hid her pregnancy from her own parents until her mother eventually figured it out. Her parents were ashamed to have an unmarried, pregnant daughter and they demanded that I be placed for adoption and the entire situation would be kept secret. That's exactly how it was handled.

S quit her job and the adoption agency sent her to live with a host family across town for the remainder of her pregnancy. This was their standard procedure for unwed mothers back then, so they could hide their pregnancies from friends and family. S and another single, expectant mother lived with this particular family. In exchange for room and board, they would help with daily chores, cook and baby-sit on occasion. Her own mother would show up to take her to doctor appointments and that is the only contact she had with any of her family until after I was born. S explained that her Mother expressed at one point that she wished there was some way they could pass me off as her own child, but said it was impossible. Several members of her family were aware of the fact that she could no longer have children. She told S that she had to do this. That this was the only way for her and the family to avoid the shame.

On June 26th S was in labor and admitted to the hospital under a false last name, which was standard practice at that time. She went through her entire labor alone. Nurses would check in on her occasionally, but the agency did not provide anyone to see her through it. Not even her mother would show up to offer support. According to her account, she was awake for the entire labor, but not the delivery. S woke up later the morning of June 27th and she never got to see me. She described the only evidence she ever saw of my existence. A tiny, bloody imprint of my body on her skin, where I must have been placed on her tummy after delivery. I cannot fathom what that moment must have been like for her. Her younger sister, still in high school, would be the only visitor she had. On June 29th Mrs. Houston stopped in with papers for her to sign and it was only then that she knew that she had given birth to a girl. She asked if the baby was okay, Mrs. Houston said, "Yes, she's fine. She has all her fingers and toes". A day later S's mother arrived to take her home. She was told to remain inside for the next few weeks and in her room if company were to stop by. Her parents were concerned that someone might suspect she had been pregnant. After that conversation, nothing about her pregnancy was ever discussed again. I cried as she told me this story. Hearing her account of these events left me incredibly upset and sad for her. Despite all she has been through, S has an amazing spirit!

I still can't imagine having to go through something so horrible. I suppose in a way, I did, but to me it is just a story. I know the story involves me, yet the events haven't had the impact on my life, as they did upon hers. It does make me a little sad that while most births are joyous occasions, mine wasn't. I try not to focus on that part. What I do focus on, is that there were two loving people, who desperately wanted me, and they have celebrated my life from the moment they saw me.

S and I have all but lost touch. We spoke regularly for a while and visited each other on many occasions. We took a vacation together, celebrated some holidays, but eventually the contact dwindled. We still send cards and update each other on what's been happening in our lives. It was impossible to go back and be Mother and Daughter, but I hope she got what she needed from the experience. I cannot speak for her, but the experience was healing for me and helped put a lot of things to rest. I once made the comment to her that I no longer "felt" adopted and she wasn't sure she understood what I meant. I didn't either at the time. Today I can tell you that it means being adopted is no longer an issue for me. There are no more secrets and no more feeling unwanted or unloved. I have had closure. I can talk about this with each of my parents today without fear and without making their hair stand on end! The lines of communication were opened by this experience. As I write this, I know my black birth certificate was just a crappy photocopy. I know the color of it had absolutely no significance at all. I can look back on that day in high school and laugh.

Today I have a pretty, mint green birth certificate, but no matter which you prefer to look at, the parents listed on both certificates are the parents god gave me and I am totally glad he picked the ones he did! I was never unhappy with my parents. I just needed answers to the questions that haunted me.

Additional notes of interest:

I was in fact, born at St Lukes Hospital, the hospital that was not listed on my birth certificate. We believe the hospital name was removed during the adoption process.
Had I ever looked for my birth records from the hospital I was born, I would have found absolutely nothing. The agency admitted my BM to the hospital with a false last name.
I was released from the hospital on June 29th and we have never been able to establish where I was between then and July, 12th, the day I my parents picked me up.
My half-brother shared with me that I have a younger half-brother that is roughly 8 years younger than me. Proving that my BF was indeed quite fertile.
My BF remained with the mother of that son for 3 months until she left town with her son and has not been heard from since.
After the first 3 years of my half-brothers life, my BF had nothing to do with any of the children he fathered.
My BF gave up his legal rights to my half-brother, in lieu of back and future child support. He was later adopted my his mothers second husband.
It is incredible how much I look like my BF.
My BF died about 6 months after my BM established contact with me and I decided against attending his funeral. I have since learned a great deal about him and his life from my half-brother.
To my knowledge, no one in my family was ever on television as I once thought possible. Like I said, I was a child with a highly active imagination.

Adopted - Part II

2005-05-05T02:40:00.000-07:00

A year or so later, Oprah did a show on locating Birth-Parents. An expert on re-uniting adoptee's with their Birth-Parents said that often, Birth-Parents will keep the adoption agencies updated on their current contact information, in the hopes their children might someday look for them. Several days later, I called to check if my adoption agency had any information on my Birth-Parents. It was ironic that I was transferred to Mrs. Houston, one of the two social workers that handled my adoption. Upon hearing my name, she explained that she remembered my parents. She checked the file and said there was no contact information available. She went on to tell me that there was a charge for initiating a search, a service they had recently decided to offer because the adoption laws in Texas had changed over the years, but she didn't believe adoptee's should be charged for a search. "If you won't tell, I won't charge you a dime", she said. I agreed and she told me she would call me back shortly. I hung up and went immediately into panic mode! I thought "My god, what have I done? Is she going to call me right back and say she's found them?". When the phone rang, I thought about just not answering it, but my curiosity got the better of me. Mrs. Houston said that she had contacted their detective and initiated the search for my BM and that it would probably take several days for him to get back with her. In the mean time, she said she would mail out the consent forms for me to sign and that she had some non-identifying information she could share with me.

I was updated on the descriptions of both sets of Grandparents, each Birth-Parent and their siblings. I figured I must look like one of my parents because they both had dark brown hair with red highlights and blue eyes. Imagine that...So do I! I was given my medical history, which oddly enough was exactly the same as the history my parents had received. I suppose at that time, they didn't realize the importance that information might hold at some point down the road. My BM was in labor for eight hours and received Demerol just prior to delivery. I was given my time of birth and birth stats, which I already knew. She added that my birth was a forceps delivery. "Lovely", I said! "I was yanked out by my head and then given away". Mrs. Houston didn't appreciate my sense of humor much and went on to explain that I was not given away. That my Mother did a very loving thing and that she did what she thought was right for me. I know that now, but at the time I wasn't quite buying it. I was also less than thrilled that she referred to her as my mother. I felt an attitude coming on and I didn't understand the flood of new feelings I was beginning to experience.

A day later, I had all the forms in hand. I signed the consent forms and filled out a sheet requesting non-identifying information about me, such as my spouse's name, my education, interests and personality traits, etc. I collected a few baby pictures and current photographs of me, sealed the envelope, addressed it, put a stamp on it and never mailed it. From then on, each birthday became increasingly painful for me. Eventually, I didn't want to celebrate my birthdays with anyone. Each year that passed, I became more and more emotional about it, and hurt that my BM hadn't looked for me. The writing was on the wall. It had become crystal clear to me that she just didn't care and didn't want me in her life. I felt more and more like I was just something bad that happened to her. From time to time I would run across the envelope and think to myself that I should send it in, but I could never make myself do it. I needed her to find me.

Years passed and I spent a lot of time with my friend T who was also adopted the only other adopted person I have ever known. Despite the fact that she has no desire to meet or find her Birth-Parents, I have always felt that she, more than any other person on this earth, has understood me. We are like sisters. We don't always get along perfectly, but she and I have been close friends for nearly twenty years. Late one night, after spending an evening at my house, T left to pick up one of her daughters from a dance. I walked her out and as she walked to her van, I went the opposite direction to the mailbox. I pulled out two envelopes and one was from the adoption agency. Immediately, my heart sank. I knew there was no reason for them to contact me other than to let me know something about one of my Birth-Parents. Almost panicked, I screamed for T to stop. I ran to try and stop her from leaving, but she was pulling away from the parking area. I was shaking at the thought of what the letter would say. I sat down in my car for a moment and opened the envelope. Through tear filled eyes I read the letter. It was short and to the point.

It read:

Please contact our offices at the following number. 1-800-xxx-xxxx Your Birth-Mother has contacted us and wishes to correspond with you.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Houston

Although I knew in my heart what was in the letter before I opened it, I could not believe my eyes! I was in shock. If I read it once, I read it 50 times that night and it still seemed surreal. I couldn't believe it! I cried and sobbed like I never have in my life. I immediately went inside and called T on her mobile. She and I spent the next seven hours on the phone contemplating what I should do. I already knew, but I wanted confirmation that it was the right thing. T begged me not to contact them in fear of what might be in store for me. T said, "There's no going back once you find out things you don't want to know". She added, "Some things we're better off not knowing!". I called Mrs. Houston the next morning. She explained the process to me. If I gave consent, my BM and I would each write three letters back and forth disclosing only non-identifying information. These letters would be processed through the agency. If both parties agreed, we would move on to telephone conversations where I could speak to my BM at their office and finally, if we both agree, they would set up a reunion that would take place at their office. That afternoon she mailed out the new consent forms. Two days later, they were on their way back to her. Signed, photographs and everything.

I was scared to death to tell my parents about the recent chain of events. I started with my mother and she didn't see any harm in my having contact with my BM. I couldn't seem to find the right words to tell my dad, so I elicited the help of my Step-Mom. She was thrilled about the news, and said she would be glad to talk to my dad for me. I was a nervous wreck. My dad is the light of my life and throughout my life he had never uttered a word to me about my adoption. As far as he's concerned, I am his daughter just as his own biological daughter is. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him with my need for this contact. My SM called me later that evening and said someone wanted to talk to me. I felt my heart move up to my throat as I heard my Dad's voice. After a little small talk, I asked if my SM had told him what was going on. He said yes and that he would support whatever I wanted to do. He reminded me that he loved me. That he had always felt a special connection with me and that he completely understood my need to know more, that if I needed him there, I could count on him. I honestly couldn't have picked a better father, if I had hand picked him myself. I was so relieved, and I cried as silently as I could throughout the rest of our conversation. I just couldn't hold back the emotion. It soon became clear I wasn't the only one feeling that way.

The following few days were rough. My SM called me back with news that my Dad was having a difficult time with my decision. His behavior was very disturbing to all of us. For whatever reason, he believed that my BM was, for lack of a better term, an "unsavory" person. He worried that I might be hurt by this woman, the things I might learn, and perhaps even her motives. He had every right to be concerned. I am not sure what it was that brought him to understand, but after we discussed it in person he settled down. He knew the relationship between me and my mother had been difficult at best, and he had decided that if my BM could be there for me, then he could live with that. If not then at least I would have answers to the questions I've had most of my life. He told me he knew I had struggled with feelings about my adoption, but he never knew how to help me with those feelings. He said now was the time for me to find the answers I needed, and more than anything, he wanted me to be happy. That week and the one to follow, were the most emotionally draining weeks I have ever experienced.

A little more than a week had passed and I hadn't heard a word from the agency. It was Friday and the long Fourth of July weekend was upon us. I was getting very antsy. Since Monday was the 4th, I feared having to wait until Tuesday for some information. I called T, she came over and we called the adoption agency to see what the hold up was. I spoke with the receptionist and was told Mrs. Houston was out of the office until Tuesday. I became very upset at the prospect of having to wait out the long weekend. Patience is not something I had a lot of. I insisted that someone should be able to tell me something! I had expediently supplied them with signed consent forms and everything they asked of me. It had been a very emotional week and I did not appreciate having to wait for so long. The receptionist put the Director of the Agency on the line. I went through the same conversation I had with the receptionist and she promptly told me that she didn't understand what the big deal was. I was aghast! "How could she not understand that this was a big deal to an adoptee?", I wondered. I was furious! This was the hugest thing in the world to me! I tried to choke back the tears and explain that this was an extremely emotional time and that after waiting my entire life for some information, I didn't think it was fair for them to just drop this in my lap and then expect me to wait patiently while they got their act together! I tearfully described to her how the past week felt like my world had been spinning out of control. She responded with, "I think you're over-reacting here. It's just a three day weekend". I lost it. I was crying so hard I couldn't even speak clearly. I put the phone down and T took over the conversation. She understood. Maybe I was over-reacting, I don't know, but T understood every ounce of what I was feeling. She tried to explain to the Director where I was coming from, but got nowhere with her. I had to resign myself to waiting and I felt like my life had been turned upside down.

Tuesday came and they still had nothing. Mrs Houston suggested that I could go ahead and write the first letter to my BM. That it didn't necessarily have to be a response to hers to count toward the required three letters and that would give me something to focus on. I was less than thrilled, but she promised as soon as she had one from my BM, she would mail it. In an effort to appease me, she said my BM had given her permission to share her first name with me. "Her name is Sandy", She informed me. I was speechless. Of all the things I had wondered about for so long, it never occurred to me that my BM even had a first name. That may sound silly, but she had always been a blank face to me. It was a strange feeling to know something so personal about her, but after hearing her name, she finally seemed real to me.

Late that Friday afternoon, without any notice from the agency, I found the much anticipated letter from my BM, waiting in my mailbox.

To be continued...

I've been tag teamed and there's gonna be hell to pay!

2005-05-04T19:59:00.000-07:00

Faith and Cara have been bad little blogger girls! They have ganged up against the Sque'd One! Both have tagged me with the same MeMe and someone shall have to pay for the injustice done unto me! So here's the deal. MUAHAHAHAHAHA! I get to pick the standard 5 questions to answer, but I get to tag 6 people, instead of 3. Okay, fine...I'll answer the full 10 questions!

Here are the Instructions:

What follows is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you). Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers.

If I could be a scientist...

If I could be a farmer...

If I could be a musician... I would create beautiful, healing music that would bring harmony to our world.

If I could be a doctor... I would move to the country that needed me the most and work for free.

If I could be a painter...

If I could be a gardener...

If I could be a missionary... I would try my best to find a way to reach those who have no faith in our creator and savior.

If I could be a chef... I would feed the world and no one would ever go hungry again!

If I could be an architect...

If I could be a linguist... I would offer to write eloquent speeches for Dubya!

If I could be a psychologist...

If I could be a librarian...

If I could be an athlete...

If I could be a lawyer...

If I could be an innkeeper...

If I could be a professor...

If I could be a writer...

If I could be a backup dancer...

If I could be a llama-rider... I would ride my llama around like a mad woman and chase people around threatening to have my llama spit on them! HAHAHAHA!! OMGosh that would be fun!

If I could be a bonnie pirate...

If I could be a midget stripper...

If I could be a proctologist... I would shove something rather large up the ass of my EX!

If I could be a TV-Chat Show host...

If I could be an actor...

If I could be a judge...

If I could be a Jedi...

If I could be a backup singer... I would push the lead singer out of the way and teach the world to sing from the deepest recesses of their souls and strut my stuff baby!

If I could be a CEO... I would give everyone raises out of my own salary and then fire myself! [After I banked a few mil of course!] Gotta pay the bills ya know?!!

If I could be a movie reviewer...

If I could be a mob boss...

If I could be a monkeys uncle...

If I could be a CSI... I would solve the JonBenet Ramsey case and help put her killer away for life!

If I could be a computer nerd... [This is a trick question isn't it?]

If I could be a Kindergarten teacher...

Lets see now...Who shall I pick to carry on the tradition! I tag Rin, Cady, and Cookie. Ok 3 down, 3 to go! Man this part is hard. I don't want to pick people who have already done it and have to eat my own words! lol Tasha, Gem and StEmily, tag, you're it too! I love you guys, but someone has to suffer with me! =]

Adopted - Part I

2005-05-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

I was six years old when my cousin so kindly accused me of being adopted. My response? "I AM NOT!!! What's adopted?". She didn't know either. She apparently overheard a conversation about it between my Mom and my Grandmother. It wasn't long after that I asked my mother what exactly "adopted" meant. I remember the conversation vividly. It was late on a Saturday afternoon. I was lying on the counter with my head in the kitchen sink, as my mother washed my hair when I asked "What is adopted?". My Mother asked where I had heard that word and I told her that Jackie said I was adopted. She began telling me that she and my Dad tried for years to have a baby and that it wasn't possible. Very gently she explained that another woman had given birth to me and gave me to them to raise and love as their own daughter. This information really meant nothing to me at the time, but I continued to listen. She said that I was legally their child and that she and my Dad loved me very much. I remember sitting in the living room shortly thereafter, eating a bowl of soup and watching HeeHaw with my Dad and Sister, their biological daughter born 16 months after I was adopted. I was apparently satisfied with the answer to my question.

I didn't think much about being adopted again until my early teens. I often wondered if one of my Birth-Parents were people we knew or perhaps someone on television. I figured it was possible. Because it was never really spoken of, I wondered if anyone else knew I was adopted besides us. No one other than my cousin had ever mentioned it. At this point in my life, I felt certain that at least some information had been kept from me. I was curious to learn more, but because neither of my parents ever spoke of it again, I was afraid to start asking questions. I felt sure that this information must be top secret and was to be kept from me at all costs. I was a child with a highly active imagination!

During my later High School years, I began snooping around for some answers on my own. A very detailed baby book that my Mother kept for me didn't have much to offer in the way of clues, but I became almost obsessed with it and the many baby pictures my parents had taken. I searched the faces of relatives that I thought I favored a bit. There were a few people I suspected, but I couldn't make heads or tails of anything. One day I finally found some items of interest. I ran across an envelope which contained a letter from the agency of which I was adopted from. It was dated June 29th of the same year I was born. I made note that it was also dated two days after the date of my birth. That piqued my interest! The letter was to inform my parents that they had been approved by the agency and that they could expect placement within six months. I referred back to my baby book where my mother had written that I was brought home July 12th, some fifteen days after my birth! Where had I been all that time I wondered! With my Birth-Mother? Abandoned? I scoured my baby book looking for answers. I found a passage my Mother had written, that said when they brought me home, I had the worst case of diaper rash she had ever seen. I wondered who took care of me. Did I not have a Mother for the first two weeks of my life? Was I given minimal care and neglected? I definitely had some questions! I was afraid to ask them, and even more afraid to hear the answers.

At some point, I remember my Sister and I needing our birth certificates for something at school. My Mom gave my sister hers and it was the original certificate from the hospital where she was born. Cute little baby footprints and all. I took one look at mine and I couldn't believe my eyes. I was horrified at what I saw! I felt my heart in my throat and immediately blurted out, "Why is my birth certificate black?"! My mother was hardly phased by the question and simply said that it was a photocopy. I tearfully asked her if I had one with my footprints on it and she explained that they were not given a copy of my original certificate because some information had to be changed when I was adopted. Still I was horrified that it was black and the next thing I noticed was that there was no information on it that indicated which hospital I was born in. Although my baby book said St. Luke's Hospital, there was only a dash in that space on my birth certificate. I knew this had to mean something. The next day, as my classmates shared their birth certificates with each other, I kept mine hidden in my notebook. Without appearing to be too interested, as far as I could tell, mine was the only black birth certificate in the class. I felt like the black sheep of my family. Photocopy or not, the color of it had a significant effect on my perception of what it meant to be adopted. There was no way I was letting anyone see that hideous thing. I was ashamed of it and I never turned it in to my teacher.

On another snooping expedition, I found a sheet with my medical background. The information was contained on less than half a sheet of paper. Not much to go on for sure, but I discovered that I was born at 12:04 AM. I weighed 7 pounds, 2 ounces and was 19 1/2 inches long. My APGAR score was 10. There was a brief medical history of my family and when I say brief I mean BRIEF! Paternal Grandfather died of a cerebral hemorrhage at the age of 57. Maternal Grandmother had diabetes and my Birth-Father had tuberculosis of the spine at the age of six, which had been cured. He also had slight deafness of the left ear which was due to illness. So there it was. A half a page chocked full of my family medical history! I couldn't believe it. History! I finally had a history! It may not seem like a lot of information to you, but to me it was like finding a chest of buried treasures!

I didn't learn any more about my adoption until I was eight-teen or nine-teen. I had moved away from home to attend college and during one of my Mother's visits, for reasons unbeknownst to me, she began to come forth with some information. I'm not sure why, or even how the converstation started, but she told me the story behind my adoption. She explained the story as given to them by the adoption agency. My Birth-Mother and Birth-Father were High school sweethearts. He was in Law school and she worked as a legal secretary helping to put him through school. When they found out she was pregnant, his parents refused to let them marry and insisted I be given up for adoption so as not to interfere with his education. My BM followed their wishes and the couple remained engaged. My Mother continued, that when she and my Father arrived at the agency to pick me up, the receptionist asked if she could help them. My Dad said they were there to pick up their baby girl. The woman turned nearly white and said that the BM had just left and that she and my Mother looked easily to be sisters! I could see that my mother loved that part of the story. I was satisfied with all that she told me, but taken aback that she actually offered information of her own free will! I found myself not wanting to hear anymore and I quickly changed the subject. I wasn't comfortable having this discussion after all the years of silence, but I was happy to know at least a little more. Later in my life, I found out it wasn't quite the truth.

To be continued...

Just your average, rambling, 1 am post...

2005-05-02T22:02:00.000-07:00

I am recovering today from a sunburn that has produced a fever, headache and the swirling around feeling in my tummy that we all dread, among other things. Don't worry though, I am feeling much much better tonight after about 16 hours of an off and on again, coma-like sleep! I have to be at work at 9 AM and I'm wondering how I will manage to sleep between now and then, since I just woke up.

In other news, in an effort to keep my mind off other things, I am working on a series of posts about my adoption. People often ask me what it's like to be adopted and I have always been happy to give my take on it. So, I figured why not talk about it here! Normally I write my posts on the fly, but I kinda wanted to put a bit more thought into these for various reasons, but mostly because it deals with a lifetime of feelings. I decided to make it a series of posts because my feelings about being adopted have changed throughout the various stages of my life. Plus, it would be entirely too lengthy for one post. I can't imagine that anyone would want to sit and read about any one person for that long! lol As far as I can tell, it may be 3 or 4 installments. So on that note, I need some input. Should I post one per day, per week, or what? Too much? Let me know what you think.

Sooo...What else was I going to share!? Oh I found this story on someone's blog the other day! I laughed so hard I'm sure my neighbors thought that I'd finally cracked!

Okay, I'm off to see what you have all been up to today...err, I mean yesterday! I guess you're all sleeping now huh?! !

Too much Sun, Fun and Burnt Buns!

2005-05-01T19:55:00.000-07:00

Recooping after a day in the sun with some really great friends, barbecue, music and a day at the pool! I was a little bored this evening after everyone left, but I did manage to find this to entertain me for far longer than I care to admit! I am also a lovely shade of lobster red tonight! Ouch!

Of Mice & Drunken Movie Go'ers

2005-04-30T08:30:00.000-07:00

Had a great time last night. A few friends and I had dinner, a few drinks and then went to see The Amityville Horror. I had heard from another friend that it wasn't very good, but it scared the pants off me! Perhaps the amount of alcohol I consumed just prior played a factor in that, but I enjoyed myself immensely! I'm not sure why exactly, but my reactions to things that really scare me, seem to be a bit out of sque. [pun intended! heh] It just doesn't seem normal to laugh hysterically when one is terrified! It wasn't the alcohol, I can assure you. I do that all the time and I've yet to figure out why. That didn't seem to draw so much attention, as the fact that once I started laughing, my friends got tickled and we were all howling with laughter! I'm pretty sure the others would've liked to have us kicked out, but somehow they managed to tolerate our behavior.

Unfortunately, our plans for today might be put on hold. It's a bit rainy and rain does not make for a good day at the lake. We have a few other friends coming in from San Antonio and they have yet to arrive so it may still clear up in time for us to salvage the day.

In other news, I think there is a rat in my house. I'm not sure really. I haven't seen the culprit yet. It could be a mouse, or a bug with really large teeth. I'll investigate and get back to you on that one. I was going to take a bag of trash to the dumpster after I got home last night, but I got as far as the front door, only to find it had started raining. I decided to return the bag back to the kitchen and leave it til morning. When I woke up there was a large gaping whole and claw marks all over the bag! Yecch! Tia has no front claws so I know she isn't the guilty party. The sad part is that now I have a cat and a mouse peacefully cohabitating with each other! Even worse, I will probably have to leave Tia with my mother overnight, so that I can catch the mouse with a trap and not HER! What a sissy!

I couldn't have said it better...

2005-04-29T05:54:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it is with me and music, but every now and then, there is a song that hits home so hard it's almost not funny...but this one is! It says it all.

Has your Give a Damn ever been busted? Yeah, mine too.

Lots a great fun in store for the weekend, and I shall return with a renewed spirit! Maybe.

Now Playing: My Give A Damn's Busted, By: JoDee Messina

Out with the old...

2005-04-28T07:56:00.000-07:00

I'd like to upgrade to Boyfriend v 2.0 please

Please note that I did not opt for the Fiance or Husband Applications. Boyfriend 2.0 is much easier to uninstall and delete.

Now Playing: Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy, By: Big & Rich

The rest of the story...

2005-04-27T01:31:00.000-07:00

When I first became aware of Fiancee #2, wasn't I sure that I wanted to blog about this at all. I didn't want it to turn into a big sympathy party, but the fact of the matter is that Brian's deployment is the primary reason I started this blog in the first place. It was a place for me to blow off steam and also show my love and support for him at the same time. He wasn't just "the boyfriend" with an honorable mention here and there. This blog was centered around our relationship, our lives, our interests, and his deployment. I couldn't very well just... not mention him again. While it is true that I often use humor in an attempt to make things more interesting, this blog is also about real feelings and events in my life. If there is anything you can count on from me, it's the fact that I am not afraid to be real with you and this break-up is a very real part of my life now.

After attempting to add a bit of my often offbeat humor to yesterdays post, I realized that I dropped quite a bombshell without any warning whatsoever. To those of you who have come to love and care for the two of us over the past five months, I am sorry for that. That was not my intention. I just had no idea how to go about breaking the news. I didn't know what to say and I wasn't up for a long winded post, such as the one I am writing now! The hurt was, and still is very fresh. I have no desire to torture him or seek revenge. I don't have a vengeful, hateful bone in my body. I just needed this to be at least somewhat lighthearted and I failed at making it that, miserably.

There really isn't all that much to the story. I last spoke to Brian in the early morning hours of Monday, the 18th. We talked via instant messenger. He had to leave for a meeting, but said he would be back. When he came back, I had fallen asleep here at the computer, with the volume turned down and I missed his return. I heard nothing from him for the rest of the week and he had not mentioned any upcoming missions as he usually does. I thought sure I would hear from him on Friday, but the day came and went without word from him. Throughout the week and weekend, I left several messages and emails for him with no response, and became increasingly concerned about his welfare. I began searching the casualty and fatality lists, as I often do when I get overly concerned. His name was not on any of those lists, but there were a number of bombings and explosions throughout Iraq that week. There were also many listings, with names yet to be released, pending notification of next of kin. This and the fact that it was unlike him to go so long without contact with me, caused me a great deal of concern. More so than my normal worrying.

On Sunday morning, I'd decided that I couldn't stand it any longer and telephoned his Mother in Virginia. What you must know about his mother, is that she will not answer the phone without knowing who is calling. She has some sort of service, where you announce your name and she decides if she will answer. Upon hearing my name, she did. I asked her if she had heard from Brian and she confirmed that she did in fact speak with him on Friday. I found it odd at that point, that he made no attempt to contact me or respond to my messages. She asked where I was calling from and I said Texas. Upon hearing this, she said oh, I thought this was his Fiancee calling. I told her it was! She said "no, his new Fiancee Suzy {apparently we have the same name}, lives right down the street from me".

There was silence...

I said, "This is Suzy!"

She says, "No, his new Fiancee's name is also Suzy and I'm telling you she lives right down the street from my house!" She continues, "I'm sorry, but looks like you've missed the boat!"

Dead silence...

"Missed the boat?!?!?" I'm thinking...WTF kinda shit is that to say? I was completely and utterly stunned. A million things were swimming around in my mind. I had no idea what to say next.

"You're telling me there is some other girl he is planning to marry?!?!?"

She says, "Yes, he told me about her about three weeks ago, and they are planning to be married when he gets back. I'm sorry, but I think you've missed the boat on this one!"

There was dead silence again... I was beside myself that she seemed to be quite proud of her son and stunned that she sounded as if she were about to laugh!

I said, " I hate to tell you this but it appears that you have raised quite the con-artist and pathological LIAR!!! You must be so proud of him! Congratulations on a job well done and thank you for the information!"

All attempts thus far have not resulted in any response from him until his, {now deleted} comment in last nights post. After further investigation on Sunday, I found that his YIM name has been deleted. There hasn't been even one response from him in email. All attempts to contact him have failed to elicit a response. Since he is in Iraq, there are no other ways to establish contact with him. The man is a coward. His comments last night were a lame attempt to twist things around and place the blame on me, as most cheaters and liars tend to do. He had many chances to respond and/or try to explain his actions prior to that and he chose not to. {Sorry Brian, you won't get the chance to con people here.} He has shown no shame, no remorse and he is obviously a man without an ounce of honor. I feel like I do not know this person. This isn't the Brian that I know. Beyond that, I don't know what else to say. I hope he makes it home safely and that he finds himself with the life he deserves.

PS...Why don't you people point out my spelling flub-ups? I just realized the difference between Fiance and Fiancee! There is a difference ya know?! I didn't! Doh! Fine time to learn it now!

I submit to you, the number 1 reason why Brian has been kicked to the curb!

2005-04-25T20:05:00.000-07:00

1. The discovery of Fiancee #2

Yep! You heard it here first folks!

Rules for responding to this post are as follows:

1. We shall not have a pity party

2. We shall be happy that this has come to light before I made the hugest mistake of my life

3. We shall provide creative methods of torture for the Asshole in question

Humor me people! I need humor!

~~More details to come.~~ On second thought, I will try to handle this gracefully and spare everyone the drama of it all. Life goes on.

Even Ellie-Mae Clampit would call me a hick!

2005-04-22T02:48:00.000-07:00

I had the ungodly experience yesterday, of hearing my own voice on my friends answering machine. It was like hearing claw-like fingernails being raked down a chalk board in slow motion. I have without a doubt become that hick we always hear on the nightly news who just cannot refrain from telling the world for the umpteenth time, how the tornado that ripped through his trailer park, sounded like a freight train, with the most god-awful my-parents-were-brother-and-sister-southern-hillbilly accent!

Brian seems to find great joy in talking and TYPING in southern hillbilly fashion. I have to admit its sort of funny when he does it, but I'm here to tell you that I'd rather go deaf than hear my voice on any type of recording ever again!

I happen to be very proud of my Texan heritage. I just don't know how to rid myself of my southern accent! I think it's safe to assume that I won't be doing any audio posts in the near future. Not unless I can adopt a cute little British accent or something!

Yall have a great weekend now, ya hear?

How to get even with that Asshole at work.

2005-04-20T03:19:00.000-07:00

ITEM'S NEEDED-The Clapper and an evil disposition
Step 1 Buy the Clapper. Plug a coworker's computer into it, then attach the Clapper to the outlet

Step 2 Wait until the annoying chump finishes a mountain of work. As he's about to hit "Save," clap, cough or hit the file cabinet twice. System crash!

Step 3 Let the obscenities die down and as the poor guy is rebooting, console him … with two friendly—and loud—pats on the back.

Step 4 Giggle your ass off.

Now Playing: Little Goodbyes, By: Shedaisy

There was a surprise in my Junk Mail folder last night...

2005-04-18T22:59:00.000-07:00

I got an email last night about 11:30 from a girl who lives in my complex, saying she had seen a cat that might fit Tia's description. I thought about calling her, but since it was so late, I decided to go have a look for myself. The email said she was hiding in the pool shed that houses the pump and various other pool equipment, so off I went. Just a few calls for her and she was crying to let me know she was there, but couldn't get out. The door was locked! I couldn't see her, but I know that meow quite well and she knew it was me too! The girl who emailed me showed up a few minutes later and told me that she had gotten a glimpse of Tia, but when she approached her, she ran inside the shed, through a very small opening at the back of the shed that is attached to the deck surrounding the pool. At that point, it was impossible to coax her out, as she seemed to be afraid to come out or not quite sure how to get to me.

I came back inside to call our maintenance man, who about 9 years ago, had to tear apart a section of my chimney, just above the fire box to my fireplace. I know you are wondering why on earth he would have to do such a thing and I am here to tell you that it was because the cat in question was STUCK in there! This is a very interesting story in and of itself, but I shall avoid my mother's way of telling 14 other stories before she ever gets around to finishing the original one. I'll save that story for another time. Luckily our maintenance guy just happened to be awake when I called him and out on a maintenance call. After I explained the situation, he agreed to come and rescue Tia yet again. I know he would have dragged himself from his cozy bed to assist, as he did the last time, but I was relieved that he hadn't yet called it a night. In the meantime, I tried everything to coax her out. Finally, after about an hour, I was able to get a glimpse of her, under a raised part of the deck, which had lattice work just below. Finally, we had some progress! At least she was on the right side of the building now and very close to the hole she could use to get back out. I was inside the pool inclosure, but walked toward the area where the shed and the deck were attached. All I had to do was call her and out she came! I had thought that she would be panicked and possibly difficult to catch, but she just strolled right over. I scooped her up and took her right home!

She seems to be fine as far as I can tell. She seemed light as a feather when I picked her up and I suppose after 19 days with minimal food and water [if she had any at all], I would be too! Once I put her down, she went to her bowl right away for some food and I sobbed as I filled the other container with fresh water. I honestly thought I would never see her again. In fact, I almost deleted that email without really looking at it because it was in my junk email folder. I had given up hope and I certainly didn't anticipate that the email would end up in THERE of all places. Thank god there was only one email and that the title caught my attention and THANK GOD there was someone who cared enough to help her find her way home.

Tia, Left and Puff, The community cat and Tia's best buddy, Right.

I think I'll go catch up on some Tia lovies now.

Update from Iraq

2005-04-18T14:29:00.000-07:00

After ten days of no contact and only one email on the 12th, Brian and I finally touched base with each other early this morning! Yes Mrs. Mogul, that's why I was up so late last night and leaving goofy comment's on your blog! lol

It was such a relief to talk to him! I don't know what is wrong with me, but when we lose contact for more than a couple of days, my mind goes places I shouldn't even be thinking about. I try very hard not to show my distress here because I know how I am and I don't want to get everyone else worried for no reason! I just cannot imagine how families coped in wars past, when telephone calls from the war zone were almost unheard of. The technology today at least allows for daily contact whenever it's possible! We talk some on the phone and quite frequently via Yahoo Instant Messenger. They have AT&T phone banks and computer centers where they can contact loved ones as often as they wish. Their group has also purchased equipment for wireless internet so that those who have laptops with them can use them from their trailers. That is actually set up now, but the signal isn't very strong at the moment. They are currently waiting on another piece of equipment to make signal stronger. Brian has a web cam so that I can see him. I have one too, but mine doesn't seem to work with my computer. I may have to buy another one so we can both see each other! In any case, we have to be thankful that today's technology allows for regular contact with each other!

When I last spoke to Brian, he had a bit of a cold. I haven't been terribly impressed with the medical treatment the military provides our soldiers. They dole out a few tylenol and send them packing. The only other options are over the counter meds they might be lucky enough to find at the PX. Last night Brian informed me that he now has Bronchitis and I know first hand how that can get out of hand when left untreated. He says they have given him some other medication, so we'll see how it goes.

In a nutshell, that's pretty much it. He had to leave for a meeting and said he would be back in a while. I fell asleep at the computer and missed him when he came back! Ugh! I hate it when that happens! I also hate waking up to find my face in a puddle of drool on my desk.

Not quite the Titanic disaster, but sheesh!

2005-04-18T05:27:00.000-07:00

CHARLESTON, S.C. - A seven-story wave damaged a cruise ship returning from the Bahamas over the weekend, smashing windows, flooding more than 60 cabins and injuring four passengers.

The Norwegian Dawn was diverted from its route when the ship ran into rough weather on the way back to New York on Saturday. The 965-foot-long vessel docked in the Charleston harbor for repairs, and departed for New York early Sunday after a Coast Guard inspection, officials said. It was expected back in New York by noon Monday.
"The ship was hit by a freak wave that caused two windows to break in two different cabins," Norwegian Cruise Line said in a statement. It said 62 cabins flooded and four passengers had cuts and bruises. The wave reached as high as deck 10 on the ship, company spokeswoman Susan Robison said Sunday.

James Fraley, who was taking a honeymoon cruise with his wife, said they called their loved ones as the wave pounded the boat because they thought the ship was going down.
"It was pure hell. We're talking 47-foot waves hitting the 10th floor, knocking Jacuzzis on the 12th floor overboard — people sleeping in hallways in life jackets," Fraley told WCBD-TV in Charleston. "Just pure pandemonium."
The ship's hull was damaged but the vessel was not taking on water, said Keith Moore of the Coast Guard Group Charleston. "All the passengers had donned personal flotation devices as a precaution," Moore told The (Charleston) Post and Courier.

The cruise line said passengers whose cabins were flooded were being flown home from Charleston and the safety of the ship "was in no way compromised by this incident." Each passenger on the ship got a refund of half the trip's cost and a voucher for half the price of a future cruise, Robison said.

Fraley said cruise ship employees also opened the bar. "They tried giving free alcohol away to make up for it," he said. "That's not going to do it." The ship left New York last Sunday with 2,500 passengers aboard. Robison said about 300 passengers decided not to return by boat. About 100 people were flown back to New York and the rest made their own arrangements, Robison said.

I have always wanted to take a cruise of some sort, at some point in my life, but after hearing this, I'm not so sure anymore. I mean, I loved the movie Titanic, but I don't think I need to relive it! Of course, I might reconsider if a certain handsome guy might like to accompany me on such a trip. A cute guy to hold back your hair while you toss your cookies can be a good person to have along. If he has mastered his lifeguard techniques, then all the better!

My WTF post of the week...

2005-04-16T04:58:00.000-07:00

Until this morning, I thought I had seen it all! Apparently I was mistaken. Every single time I go to the gym, I have to laugh at this girl that comes in wearing full make up, earrings, bracelets, perfume...The whole ball of wax. Her work-outs [if you want to call it that] make everyone there giggle and I have no idea what the whole point of it is for her.

Today, was far beyond anything I have ever seen. Today, the debutante walked in dressed to the nines, with an Egg McMuffin, hash browns and a soft drink. Not only THAT, but she ate it DURING HER WORKOUT! I nearly fell off my McTreadmill. It just never occurred to me that calories wouldn't count as long as I consumed them during my work-out.

I bet she's been laughing at me all along.

Can you hear me NOW?

2005-04-15T03:51:00.000-07:00

I apologize my dear friends, for my recent absence. There have been a few changes going on around here. For starters, I switched telephone companies, then had to switch ISP's. A few months ago I told you about the ongoing battle between me and my old phone company. I won't mention any names but *Cough*Verizon, thephonecompanyfromhell*Cough* sucks when it comes to customer service and billing. We have been involved in a huge billing dispute for over 2 years and at this point, I am turning the matter over to the Texas Attorney General.

The unfortunate thing about this is that it appears NO OTHER ISP offers DSL in my area. Verizon owns the lines in this area and refuses to rent lines to other DSL providers. At this point in time, I am back to using a dial-up connection, but maybe not for long. I may have to continue to use Verizon for DSL. I just hope the picture of my butt, with big red smoochy lips across it that I sent them doesn't come back to haunt me!

In any case, everyone is fine! There was an email from Brian dated April 12th, to let me know he had made it back from his latest mission safe and sound! That has been the suckiest part of this whole week. Not being able to talk to him or know what has been happening over there has been driving me nuts! Of course, it goes without saying that I have missed all of you and I am soooo totally out of the loop now that it isn't funny! Never fear though, I shall get everything back in order and catch up with you all over the weekend! No more cold-turkey...I promise!

Is there a Blog Doctor in da house?

2005-04-07T04:27:00.000-07:00

As you can see I, uhm...Sort of buggered up my blog just a bit. What I was attempting to do was align the sidebar content to the left, which I was able to do, but I also wanted to put a little more space between that and the main content area. As you can see, I did just the opposite and I have no idea what I changed to make it do that.

So I freely admit that I am not the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to the inner workings of blogs, templates and the like. The question is, can someone tell me how to fix this crap? lol I wanted to maybe even put some sort of divider there, but I don't think I shall attempt that just yet.

If anyone has a clue how to fix this, I'll be the one standing with my nose in the corner.

Sobbing, Superstitious Sucker...Yep, that shoe fits!

2005-04-06T03:27:00.000-07:00

Ever had one of those weeks where everything just goes haywire? This is one of them. Here's the update.

Tia is still missing in action. Monday was screwed by various things and I didn't get to the animal shelter until yesterday morning. They sent me to the "cat room" to take a look around for her. As soon as I walked in, every cat in there jumped up and said "Oh yay...You're here to take me home aren't you?" It was obvious they saw the stamp on my forehead that says "I'm a sucker for a cute cat!". Of course I had to visit with each one, tickle their noses through the cages and talk to each one of them. Then it dawned on me that every other cat in the city was there and not mine. I left the room sobbing like a nut. I filled out a lost cat form and left behind a picture and all my information, but I'm not holding out much hope. The really sucky part is that I could let this go if I knew for sure that she has died.

In other news, we had a neighbor that had a water heater catch fire. There is a bit of smoke damage to my place, but nothing too major. A little paint and we're good as new again, but I am having to wash EVERYTHING in sight. Clothes, bedding, linens, towels, dishes...Everything. Bleh...It's a thrill a minute in the Sque'd household!

On a happier note, I think I've found a wedding dress I like...Or at least part of it! Not so sure on the top part, but the lower half, I absolutely love.

I am going to talk to a lady here in town that used to design wedding gowns for Neiman Marcus. She now designs and makes them on her own. I may have her design a gown from several pictures of gowns that I like, but I definitely like the lower half of this one. I'm not much into big, frilly, fluffy dresses! I'll keep you posted on further developments! After I meet with her and finalize the design, I'll try to post a sketch, but I can't post a pic of it until after the wedding. Yes, I am that superstitious, but no, I didn't run when I saw that black cat yesterday.

Now Playing: Take my breath away, By: Jessica Simpson

Any Suggestion's?

2005-04-03T21:42:00.000-07:00

My cat Tia has been missing since Thursday night and so far, she hasn't turned up. I'm not sure how this happened. My first thought on Friday, when I realized she was missing, was that she is 17 years old and that she may have died somewhere in my house. I have turned this house inside out and she just cannot be in here unless she has squeezed into some spot that I am unaware of. My second thought was that she must have slipped out Thursday evening as I was coming or going, without my noticing. She has stepped out before [with my knowledge] and being the scaredy cat that she is, one tiny noise sends her scrambling to get back inside. She has never spent more than a couple of minutes outside, with or without my knowledge. This just isn't like her.

I have searched inside and out. I have put up flyers with her pic, description, my phone number and email address. I will check the animal shelter first thing in the morning, as they have been closed over the weekend. I just don't know what else to do. Like a dummy, I didn't have her tags or a collar on her. I didn't think it was necessary since she never goes out for more than a minute or two.

I have a really bad feeling about this and although I know there are worse things that could happen, I am heartbroken over this. She has been with me longer than I have known most of my friends. I am not ready to give up hope just yet, but I have to know in my heart that I have done everything possible to find her. Am I overlooking something here?

Also, we have a fellow blogger who is in need of prayer. I have been blogging a very short time, but I have been amazed at amount of support and care our fellow bloggers are willing to offer to complete and total strangers. If you have a moment, drop in on Island Girl and offer your prayers and words of encouragement. She has a condition called Premature Ovarian Failure. She has had some other tests and the results are in. We are hoping that those results will show nothing worse than that. If you don't feel comfortable leaving a comment, just hit the Email button! The power of prayer and positive feedback can do amazing things.

That's what Psychic Friends are for!

2005-04-03T07:36:00.000-07:00

Ever had one of those days where you check your horoscope and you're all like wow!?!?! Yeah ok, me either, but I have to say that today's horoscope for me kinda blew me away! Not that I believe in this stuff or anything. I wasn't nearly as impressed with Brian's! Yeah, he better think twice about that last one! REALLY! He better get to that phone and pick a fight about money with me real quick like or I may have to drop a grenade down his pants and I'm sure neither of us want that. Really!

Terri Schiavo 1963 - 2005

2005-04-01T05:57:00.000-08:00

Dear Terri,

I have no way of knowing what your wishes were, but I do know one thing. I know that you are now at peace, and free from suffering. It is my hope that others will learn from the controversy surrounding your death. I am hoping the tragic chain of events we have all witnessed, will inspire others to act now, and take the time to legally make their final wishes known. Those of us who are alive and well today, have the opportunity to do so. My regret is that your life was affected before you were able to do so.

Although I did not know you personally, you have had a profound effect upon my life. Your family and loved ones are in my prayers and I am hoping that both you and they, can find peace and comfort. I hope you left this world knowing that you were loved and that those who loved you fought, right or wrong, to do what they thought was right.

Now Playing: I Believe, By Diamond Rio

Screw the truth! I'll just hear what I want to hear, thanks!

2005-03-31T01:39:00.000-08:00

Obviously my hearing is slightly Sque'd! It seems I misunderstood that Brian will be on base until the END OF THE MONTH, not for the next ENTIRE month! I suppose there is some truth about hearing what we want to hear and quite frankly, I prefer my version of that conversation! So guess what? It's the end of the month now and he's leaving on a new mission tonight.

I hate to break the bad news to our government, but I am ready to withdraw my troop! I wonder who I should speak to about this new development?! Italy withdrew their troops, I don't see why I can't withdraw mine. I may even impose sanctions on any further use of my troop in the future.

Now Playing: Billy Jean, By: Michael Jackson

[Just gotta play some Jackson before/or in case he's found guilty. I don't think I could play it after.]

Update from The War Zone

2005-03-29T00:36:00.000-08:00

I haven't done a lot of talking about Brian's situation in Iraq lately. Mostly because I can't really discuss his whereabouts on a daily basis without the possibility of jeopardizing their safety. You never know who could be reading at any given time. Once he is home, I can tell you more about what he does. The good news that I can share is that he will be on base for the next month or so, to help with training new troops as they arrive. He says he would rather be out and about, because it's boring on base and he hates all the drills. I say screw being out and about! Find someone who will put you to work in the cafeteria or something until DECEMBER and then get your butt home!

I can't tell you how happy I am about this change of events! Just knowing that he is in and around the cities we all hear about on the news is enough to give me nightmares. When he is out on missions, he is gone for days at a time and I can't help but read or see the news and it is always the bad news we get to hear about. In the back of my mind I always wonder if he was involved. Then I torture myself even further by checking the list of latest casualties to make sure his name isn't on it. I can't help but feel a bit nauseous just before I click the link! All I can say is god be with those who's loved ones are listed!

Kids Say the Darndest Things!

2005-03-28T05:50:00.000-08:00

"It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and could move that big rock!"

Come to think of it, that was pretty impressive!

Hope you all had a wonderful Easter! I am still cleaning up confetti.

Now Playing: What I Am, By - Edie Brickell

Sque'd Spanish 101

2005-03-25T18:25:00.000-08:00

A few of you have emailed me wanting to know how to pronounce Cascarones, which is the Spanish name for the confetti eggs I told you about in my previous post.

It's really very simple, but you must r-r-roll the R to say it correctly.

Ok, so here is the proper pronunciation: [Cah-scar-r-rone-ez]

If your non-Latin side is kicking in and you cant quite get that R to roll, you can practice saying R-r-ruffles have r-r-ridges! Ha, I used to love that commercial! Just don't ask me to say that in Spanish. About the only other Spanish I could teach you would be slang swear words and phrases and most of that would get you an ass-kicking should you ever say it to a Mexican [sounding like you mean it] and we don't want that! Them's fightin' words!

Actually, most would probably fall over laughing at your incorrect pronunciation, but I shall refrain from teaching my blog readers such naughty things! For now.

Something fun for Easter

2005-03-24T07:49:00.000-08:00

Every year, in addition to coloring hard boiled Easter eggs, we make Cascarones. In case you are unfamiliar with these, they are colored egg-shells with confetti inside. We hide them along with the others and later the kids get to break them over someone's head! I think this is sort of a Spanish/Mexican tradition, but it has caught on in Texas over the years. Making them is almost just as fun!

Here's how you make them!

First, you will need at least a dozen, if not more, empty egg-shells. Emptying them is the tricky part. There are a couple of ways to do it.

One method is to take an ice pick and poke a hole in one end, about the size of a pencil eraser. Then make another smaller hole on the opposite end. Use the ice pick to break the membrane just inside the shell and to break up the yolk too, otherwise it won't fit through hole number one. Then take a turkey baster, put it over the smaller hole and use the air to blow the contents of the egg into a bowl.

Another method is to make a hole in one end about the size of a dime, then use an ice pick to break up the yolk and empty the contents into a bowl.

Obviously, the second method is easier, but then you have a larger hole to cover later, but either way is fine.

Next you rinse the empty egg shells with water and let them drain until completely dry. Remember these are fragile, so be gentle.

After your shells are ready, just color or decorate them as you would normal Easter eggs, let them dry and fill them with paper confetti. I advise using paper confetti instead of plastic or mylar confetti, since the latter two are not biodegradable. You will use colored tissue paper and a little elmers glue to cover and seal the hole and there you have it! Cascarones!

As a side note: You can freeze scrambled eggs in small portions for future use in recipe's. Just thaw in the fridge and use promptly. Make sure to make note of how many eggs are in each container.

If you have a large family, just have scrambled eggs tonight!

Additionally, you may want to advise children how to break the eggs. Smacking someone on the head with one of these can hurt a little. It's a better idea to crumble the egg in your hand first, then sprinkle the contents and remains of the shell over the persons head as shown below.

If you get a chance, try them out! I hope you guys enjoy these as much as our family does!

Now Playing: My Girl, By: The Temptations

I know how to get what I want

2005-03-23T05:18:00.000-08:00

This is part of the conversation that ensued after I asked Brian if I could drive his "baby"...[his truck].

Brian : sure if you know how to drive a 5 speed

Me : i kinda do

Brian: i'm not too sure about kinda

Me : no one really ever taught me how to drive a 5 speed. i had to teach myself and i can drive one, but i'm not sure when to change gears and stuff. i just watch the thingy by the speedometer

Brian : ohh dear God...help me...

Brian : the tachometer you mean?

Me: yeah that

Brian : ohhhhhhhh...okay....THAT thingy....lol

Me : hey, when you get back, will you take over having the oil changed in my car? i forget about that a lot and just realized the other day that i haven't had my oil changed in almost 10k miles lol

Brian : ohhhhhhhhhhh my goddddddddddddddddddddd

Brian : just shoot me now...

Me : it's still going!! i'm gonna get it changed today

Brian : you remember where the oil changing thingy is...

Me : no, but i know where the thingy is where you check the oil

Brian : lol...okay

Me : i just forget to check it

Brian : lol...hope you don't forget to change our baby when I'm working

Me : nah, i'll have the nanny follow up on that

Brian : lol....guess I'll have to do it all

Me : LOL i'm kidding. i'm better about changing diapers. now see if my car cried when the oil needed changing, i wouldn't forget

Brian : lol....okay

Me : well it did cry one time. it started making a noise and i stopped to check the oil and there was barely any in there so i went and bought some

Brian : ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....lord just bring me hoooooommmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Me : lol now see? if you'd just handle that stuff i can hold off on having to shoot you for a while

Unfortunately, it's true that I am not very vehicle savvy. I don't think I will be telling him about how I filled up the truck for my dad. With about 10 gallons of water!

What? I was only 5! And I was only trying to help!

Now Playing - Perfect, By: Sara Evans

Oh Hell...It's Hailing!

2005-03-19T17:41:00.000-08:00

As you all know, I live in Texas and I happen to live right smack dab in the middle of what's called "Tornado Alley" in this part of the country. We have been having bad weather all evening and it's hailed several times already. That is usually one of the signs of a tornadic activity, but thankfully that isn't the case tonight. I'm just wondering if my Explorer has been damaged by the hail at this point. Three months after I bought it, we had a bad hail storm that caused $3000 worth of damage to it. I'm bummed and really hoping that isn't the case again! Urrrrghhh! I have already discovered that my greenhouse window above the kitchen sink is cracked at the top!

I hope you're all having a better Saturday night than I am!

Update: Sunday Afternoon

I spent the better part of the day surveying the damage and it appears to be minimal. So far I have found one cracked window and another that is broken upstairs. The explorer seems to be okay. I live in a townhome and one of the areas where I park has sort of a canopy of trees and that seems to have saved me some damage. I saw other vehicles with hail damage though! Whewww! My dad called to see if everything was ok and suggested that I contact my insurance company and have them check the roof for damage. Ugh! If there is damage up there, this will be the third roof replacement in 6 years. All courtesy of the insurance company, but you know how that goes. We really end up paying for it in the long run.

Happy Sunday!

Now Playing: The Thunder Rolls, By: Garth Brooks

Keeping it Real!

2005-03-18T08:27:00.000-08:00

As if my reality isn't enough for me, I am rather addicted to Reality Television. I'm not sure why, but sitcoms don't really do it for me. I enjoy a good movie, but I prefer to watch those on my own schedule, not when I have fifty other things I should be doing. I also prefer those without commercial interruptions and in their entirety, which means I buy or rent them.

Fear Factor, although it certainly is not based on ANYTHING I consider realistic, is one I can't seem to miss. I have no clue what day or time it actually comes on, I just seem to catch it and when I do, I can't tear myself away from it! With each event, I can't help but wonder if I could actually do the tasks they are given. Without a doubt, I couldn't eat anything gross...EVER. Anything like that would automatically disqualify me because I would simply refuse. I don't have a fear of heights, so those types of tasks wouldn't be a problem for me especially since there are safety precautions involved like A DROP LINE THAT CATCHES YOU BEFORE YOU HIT THE GROUND! Pfft! No sweat at all there! I just don't get why people are so afraid of those particular tasks, but of course, I say that from the safety of my couch. Ha!

American Idol is another one I am hooked on. I can't say I have a clear favorite this year, but there are a few that I am pulling for. As you can probably tell, I am very into music and I really enjoy live music.

A couple of friends and I have made this show a reason to get together for dinner every week. Each of us bring either the main course or a side dish. We miss a week here or there, but we're usually on the phone with each other judging each performance. I just hate it when contestants get all "pitchy", because ya know, "pitchiness" does not make for a good American Idol. What I actually hate is when the judges use that word after every performance! And Simon? Someone really should remove the stick from that guys ass, he might be a bit more tolerable. Unless of course he's into that kind of thing.

Now Playing: The Boys Are Back in Town, By: Jessica Sierra, Idol Contestant

Happy St. Patty's Day & Top O'the Mornin' to ya!

2005-03-17T05:34:00.000-08:00

I have never been much on St. Patrick's day and I blame it on my mother who forced me to take five plus years of piano lessons! Oh sure I'm happy I can play the piano today, but that damn Cockles and Mussels song, yes, the same song you are listening to as you read this, drove me and everyone else in our household INSANE! My piano teacher, Mrs. Nelson saw that my left hand and right hand were not very coordinated, and as such, my hands didn't care much for doing two different things at once. Sure the first part of the song was boring and easy, but about a third of the way trough the song is where my brain would short circuit and my hands went berserk! So every week, on top of my new lesson for that week, I had to play Cockles and Mussels during each lesson for about six months straight, which meant that I had to practice this song IN BETWEEN EACH LESSON for six months straight as well. It is amazing that my parents survived the horrid sounds coming from the living room, not to mention my frustrated SCREAMS! Even our dog and two cats went into hiding every time I began to play my psychotic rendition of this damned song! Well, the dog wasn't so smart. We only had to follow the sound of her howling to find her location, but I digress. To this day, this song reminds me of St. Patrick's day. Mostly because Mrs. Nelson threatened that I would have to play it at the St. Patty's Day Recital. Luckily for me...And the audience that would have had to suffer through it with me, that recital never came to fruition! Yes, miracles do happen!

So today, the internet gets to enjoy the song as it was meant to be....Without all the screaming, without the pulling out of the hair, without the dog howling and without my dyslexic fingers butchering it to shreads!

Care to learn more about St. Patrick and what the celebration is really all about? Check out The History Channel Website and watch the video!

Desperately Seeking My Self Esteem

2005-03-15T08:00:00.000-08:00

Could someone tell me how to go about finding some of this elusive stuff? I had some of this self esteem at some point in my life. I think maybe I lost it when I was around the age of ten or so. It is a little difficult to pinpoint the last time I recall having any. It's not hard to lose one's self esteem, especially when you're the chubby girl in your class and no one on the planet will let you forget this fact for more than a day or two at a time.

I have been stunned by some of the comments people have made to me throughout my life. "Oh you have such a pretty face". The part they so kindly and graciously leave out is "but that doesn't make up for the fact that you're so damned fat". I remember when I was about twenty, some of my relatives were discussing the weight-loss pills from Mexico craze that killed a number of people back in the late 80's. During that discussion my step-mother so graciously pointed out that she'd rather have me the way I am, than dead! I remember thinking, "by George, now there's an option!" I'd rather BE DEAD than have to endure THAT conversation again! People just don't think before they open their mouth's I suppose.

I have struggled with my weight my entire life. Finally, at the age of uhm...thirtysomething, I have found a diet/lifestyle change that actually works for me, but I can't for the life of me remember where I left my self esteem or for that matter, how to get at least get a few shreads of it back into my possession! I have come to the realization that no matter how thin I get, I will always be, at least in my mind, "the fat girl". After a lifetime of negative comments and shame, its pretty likely that I will still be dissatisfied with some aspect of my physical appearance.

Let's just suppose that someday I will be able to squeeze my butt into a cute little size 6 pair of jeans. Not that I'm holding my breath mind you, but I suppose it is within the realm of possibilities. At that point I'll be thinking I need a breast lift and for sure a tummy tuck. Maybe a little tuck where my extra chin used to be. You know...just for good measure! Thank god for small miracles that's gone! While we're at it, my nose could stand to be just a tad bit cuter and we might as well plan on hiring a professional hair colorist since I already see a few gray strands around my right temple. Even then I cannot imagine anyone saying "wow, YOU are a hottie!" I seriously cannot see, after all these years, a point at which I will be comfortable with my appearance.

Why do we let people do this to us? Maybe a better question would be: Why do we do this to ourselves? Too bad we can't just buy some more of this self esteem when we run out.

There is always a Good Excuse!

2005-03-10T11:54:00.000-08:00

In my lifetime, I have had more tickets than I care to tell you about. Lets just say that by the time I was 17, I should have been banned from gracing our highways with my presence early on, but I was just lucky enough that no one was paying attention to my large collection of speeding tickets!

A couple of years ago, I found one excuse that worked like a charm. When the officer pulled me over for speeding, I told him that I must have some sort of stomach bug. I asked if he minded pulling up to the Exxon station ahead and write my ticket while I went to the bathroom. He let me go and said he hoped that I felt better. I giggled all the way to the gas station...Where I bought a Dr Pepper and then headed home.

Don't want to go to work? Late paying your taxes? Want to get out of jury duty or having sex with your spouse? This site has every excuse you could ever possibly imagine!

Care to share the best excuse you've ever come up with?

Heads Up! A rant is forthcoming...

2005-03-09T17:01:00.000-08:00

First I want to say I am happy that Italian journalist, Giuliana Sgrena was released from her captors in Iraq and is now recovering in Italy. I am thrilled however it came to pass, that negotiator's were able to get her released and that her captors did not harm her. I am also saddened by the fact that someone lost their life trying to assist in her departure from Iraq.

Having said that, I have some other things to get off my chest. First of all, American soldiers are not the trigger happy pigs you make them out to be Miss Sgrena and I am sick to death of people like you spewing your Anti-American rhetoric. There are very valid reasons why your vehicle was fired upon. 1. Your vehicle was speeding toward a United States supply convoy at a high rate of speed and as they are often targeted by insurgents/terrorists, this type of action gets their attention real quick like. 2. It was the middle of the night. Ask any Iraqi if it would be wise to travel in Iraq under the cover of darkness and they will highly advise against it. It is unsafe! No one has the ability to know whether you are a terrorist or a civilian in the dark. 3. You were traveling on one of the most dangerous stretches of roads which has a high rate of car bombings and insurgent attacks on both Iraqi and US convoys. As a journalist, you of all people should have been well aware of all of this. Even as an American civilian, I know these things and I am not privy to any type of inside information. I simply read the news on occasion. If you insist on traveling in a war zone, perhaps you should brush up on some basic safety tips next time.

Miss Sgrena, shit happens and unfortunately, it often happens to good people. It also happens when people are stupid. Yes, I am referring to you and whomever was driving that fateful night. I am sorry that someone lost their life due to the carelessness of your driver and your disire to leave the country at a very dangerous time of night and in an extremely dangerous manner. You could have gone to the police or to a hotel. You could have gone almost anywhere until it was a bit more safe to travel, but the path you chose was a stupid one at best. Although I know it is a difficult thing to do, sometimes you just have to accept that the blame is all your own.

My condolences to the family of your fallen comrade.

Tuesday's Tell-All

2005-03-08T05:06:00.000-08:00

We haven't done one of these in a while, so here goes! Feel free to play along and/or pose these same questions to your own readers! Post your answers in the comment's section!

For quick and easy Copy & Paste, here are today's questions:

- Name your favorite cartoon from childhood.
- Describe a vivid childhood memory.
- What is the strangest thing you have ever eaten?
- Do you believe in ghosts?
- Do you believe in aliens?

As always, I'll go first!

_____________________________________________________

1. Name your favorite cartoon from childhood.

Scooby Doo!

2. Describe a vivid childhood memory.

I remember kneeling backwards on my grandmother's porch swing with my cousin Keith. For some reason he was jerking the back of the swing towards us, back & forth really hard and it made the entire swing fall to the ground. When we landed, my mouth hit the back part of the swing and knocked out one of my teeth [I was 5 or 6 maybe] and made another one loose. I immediately started crying, my mother panicked and rushed me inside to get some ice and stop the bleeding. When she came back she asked what happened to my other tooth and I calmly said "its right here" and handed it to her. She was in a total panic, but she was stunned at how calm I was!

3. What is the strangest thing you have ever eaten?

I'm not into eating anything too terribly odd. The strangest thing would have to be frog's legs, which...I probably wouldn't eat again. It was creepy.

4. Do you believe in ghosts?

I've never seen one, but I'm not sure if they exist or not. I'd have to see one to be convinced.

5. Do you believe in aliens?

I have never seen an alien either. If we're talking about little green men or ET type aliens, then no, I don't believe in anything like that.

Now playing: Bitch, By Meredith Brooks

That's it! I'm outta here!

2005-03-04T10:19:00.000-08:00

I know it's only noon, but I'm packin' it in for the weekend and heading out to visit the parental units. Although they are two hours away, I can hear the BBQ and margarita's calling my name and who am I to resist such temptation?

I talked to Brian last night and I am totally out of my funk and ready to go have a good time! I also see that he stopped by under the cover of darkness and left a comment. What a sneak!

Also, to those of you who haven't done your "100 Things About Me" list...It's time to get on the ball! Go on now! Get it done! I did mine a while back, but I finally got around to linking to it over there! ----->

Margarita's here I come! Have a great weekend folks!

~Now Playing~ It's five O'Clock somewhere, By Alan Jackson & Jimmy Buffett

No Place That Far

2005-03-02T12:53:00.000-08:00

Throughout my life, music has always spoken directly to my heart and with B in Iraq, this is especially true now.

I am missing him more than I had ever imagined! I'm not sure if it's that I have been sick or if I am just going through something, but the miles between us seem massive and endless. I have recently learned how to add music to my blog and I thought I would share the song that helps me feel stronger during times like this.

Now Playing: No Place That Far - Sara Evans & Vince Gill

Enter At Your Own Risk!

2005-02-25T14:35:00.000-08:00

I'm making a new blog template here people. Beware of falling debris while I hammer out a few problems and get things back in order!

Don't worry! I totally know what I'm doing. NOT!

Stay tuned for further developments!

I cannot be held responsible for this, I had a fever!

2005-02-24T12:00:00.000-08:00

My apologies for not updating this week like a good little blogger, but snorting, sneezing and coughing up a lung or two took precedence over my new-found blog addiction. My absence from the internet has been brought to you by the letter F, which stands for Flu...Amongst other words I've been muttering under my breath.

The highlight of my week was standing in line at Walgreen's, with a temperature of 102 degrees, an assortment of over the counter meds and a box of tampons, because yes, if you must know, its about that time TOO! I probably should have just stayed home, shivering under the covers on the couch, but venturing out into the world half delirious, PMS symptoms in full swing, with snot pouring out of my nose seemed like a grand idea at the time. So after standing in line for what felt like a twenty year prison sentence, I finally reach the cashier and put my items down. Cashier Boy starts tallying up my little shopping spree, at which point he discovers that the box of OB Tampons was open. Lovely! "No problem" he says, "I'll just run back and grab another package. I'll be right back". He comes back with a package of Johnson & Johnson rolled gauze and says "we must be out of the OB brand, but will this do? Its all the same anyway." I wasn't quite sure what to say and I stood there dumbfounded. For a moment I envisioned myself strangling him with the roll of gauze, but that eventually passed and I said, "well I'm not much into rolling my own tampons, but thanks anyway". He glanced at the OB box as he turned 14 different shades of red, realizing at that point that it was in fact, a package of tampons. I paid, and retreated back to my troll cave to hide under the covers.

I'm sure at some point down the road, his girlfriend or future wife will want to thank me for that nice little emotional scar.

I just don't get it!

2005-02-18T07:26:00.000-08:00

As some of you know, I have been working on losing weight and getting into shape. The losing weight part is going ok and I have acquired a nice little collection of various devices for toning and such.

Yesterday, I bought one of these...

With my foot in a splint, I was only able to do a few of the exercises and the few I actually could do, left me struggling to maintain my balance. It took a great deal of concentration and control. I dunno, with all the sweating and muscle burning, not to mention all the aches and pains I have today, it's not all it's cracked up to be. I just don't get this whole exercise-ball craze, but it was a hell of a lot of fun just sitting and bouncing on it. With a good movie, a Dr Pepper and some chips, it might actually turn out to be the fun little piece of fitness equipment I've been looking for.

Tired of Chasing My Tail!

2005-02-16T11:19:00.000-08:00

Why is it I am always so far behind on everything!?! Do you people realize that my family and I have still not exchanged Christmas gifts? Why you ask? We were all sick as dogs on Christmas and the week prior, that's why. I did get to meet with my mother and her husband for dinner a few nights before Christmas so that was good, but this seems to be a pattern in my life.

Yesterday, I had tons of things to get done that I'd been putting off. I really worked my ass off in an attempt to finally get caught up on everything. When I got home, I had been resting on the couch for only a few minutes elevating my swollen foot, when there was a knock on the door. It was my ass...Finally dragging itself home!

Tuesday's Tell-All

2005-02-15T05:29:00.000-08:00

Another week has passed and it's that time again! Time to tell us everything we want to know! Just copy and paste the questions below into the comments section and supply your answers. Everyone is welcomed to participate! As usual, I'll go first.

- If you were a Barbie or action figure, who would you like to be?
- Which animal do you most relate yourself to and why?
- Which would you rather do - Shave your head or eat 10 live grasshoppers?
- Name a band or recording artist that you are embarrassed to admit to liking.
- Do you talk to yourself in private?
_____________________________________________________________

1. If you were a Barbie or action figure, who would you like to be?

Barbie! I've always wanted to be a blonde bimbo! Just kidding!!! I'd have to say Superman. It'd be cool to fly.

- Which animal do you most relate yourself to and why?

Probably a Cat. I seem to be able to understand my cats. I know that sounds weird, but it's true.

- Which would you rather do - Shave your head or eat 10 live grasshoppers?

Sorry, no fear factor guts here! I'd shave my head for sure.

- Name a band or recording artist that you are embarrassed to admit to liking.

Spice Girls

- Do you talk to yourself in private?

Yeah, I'm a pretty good listener and I hardly ever interrupt myself!

I'm A Bad Bad Blogger

2005-02-11T07:34:00.000-08:00

It's been a busy week here in the Sque household and I apologize for being so neglectful! I've been doing some top secret, under-the-table work that I shall not discuss for fear that the evil IRS people will come audit me and discover that I've already spent the cash I found under said table and therefore cannot pay them. I fear they might abduct me during one of my peaceful slumbers and force me to work in some sweat shop, in a third world country making little paper umbrella's to pay off my debt and a good paper umbrella maker I will not make, so yeah, uh...We won't talk about that any further!

In other news, I talked to B a few times this week. He's been on mission after mission non stop and I can tell it's taking its toll on him. We had a long discussion yesterday about "gettin' hitched" because well, people our age should be hitched ya know and it's the middle of February and he's wanting to get hitched up during his R&R visit in MAY OF ALL TIMES! Not that I don't want to get hitched mind you, I love this man! Its just that MAY is right around the corner and we have nothing WRITTEN IN STONE saying that he will be here on any particular date and well, I'm not real fond of the idea of walking down the isle only to find that he's not gonna make it! If I will be forced into planning an impromptu wedding, I will in fact be needing his arrival date drawn in blood! Okay, scratch that, maybe not blood, but I will settle for a written notarized statement from the president! Thats not asking too much is it? I'll keep ya posted internet and let you know how it goes!

Speaking of weddings. WTF is up with those silly Royals?!? Now I will admit that I've not been one to follow the royal family and all of their transgressions, but I have watched the news enough to know that Prince Charles has been bumpin' uglies with Camilla whatsername long before he was ever divorced from Princess Diana...And NOW THEY DECIDE TO GET MARRIED? Good grief..Hasn't he ever heard the phrase "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"? I certainly hope they don't decide to produce anymore little royals. Only god knows what will spawn when you cross a royal baboon with an old cow! Did I just say that in my out loud voice?

Gosh I'm feelin' catty today! Have a great weekend kiddies!

Tuesday's Tell-All

2005-02-08T04:23:00.000-08:00

Another Tuesday is upon us and here are this weeks questions! Lurkers feel free to join us! You're secrets are safe with us! Just copy & paste the top set into the comments area and spill the beans! It's that easy!

- Name 1 thing you find incredibly sexy about the opposite sex.
- Name the most famous person are related to or know personally.
- What was your favorite subject in high school?
- If you were to find a duffel bag with 1 million dollars in it, on the sidewalk in front of your house, what would you do with it?

- If you could find a total cure for one disease, what would it be?

______________________________________________

1. Name 1 thing you find incredibly sexy about the opposite sex.

Hands! Rough, masculine hands are sooo sexy and I have no idea why!

2. Name the most famous person are related to or know personally.

My first cousin is married to Estee Lauder's niece!

3. What was your favorite subject in high school?

I liked History and Geography. Mostly because we had a great teacher and he taught both classes. His classes were always fun.

4. If you were to find a duffel bag with 1 million dollars in it, on the sidewalk in front of your house, what would you do with it?

I'd ...Uh, keep my mouth shut and sit on it for a while. See if I could figure out where it came from, then probably spend it! LOL Sorry...I wouldn't steal from ya, but if its laying around out in public, I say finders keepers!

5. If you could create a total cure for one disease, what would it be?

Most likely Cancer.

MeMe Time!

2005-02-06T00:17:00.000-08:00

Rin made me do this and now I'm gonna have to show my age. Yall don't laugh, just pretend you know these songs, who these bands are, what I'm talking about and no one will get hurt m'kay? Good!

1. Song that sounds like happy feels:

I feel good - James Brown

2. 2. Earliest memory: [Oops, left this one out before! Thanks Tasha!]

Not sure how old I was, but I remember potty training and stuffing tissue into the toilet while I was sitting on this weird contraption I was strapped into on the toilet. I remember flushing and laughing about the water overflowing as I sat there watching it pour onto the floor! My mom had gone to answer the door and got tied up talking to whoever it was. She has a picture of me sitting there giggling, with water still overflowing! lol

3. Last CD you bought:

I don't buy CD's anymore, I steal songs off the net to taunt the RIAA!

4. Reminds you of school:

Elementary School - Having wings or "feathered" bangs was in style in Jr. High. I was in love with Leif Garrett, Andy Gibb and Shaun Cassidy...In fact, I used to practice kissing with Shaun Cassidy on his album cover. Grease and Saturday Night Fever were my favorite movies and soundtracks. We never missed Starsky & Hutch, Charlies Angles or The Love Boat. My parents loved Hee Haw - Ugh![Gah I feel old all of a sudden!]

High School - Michael Jackson was one of my favs! Thriller and Purple Rain were in my cassette player a lot back then. Sonic and the Car Wash were our favorite hang outs. So were Sunday nights at the skating rink and Tuesday nights at the Dollar movie!

College - Bonfire was a tradition we never missed. Madonna's first album came out and the "Madonna" look was something we all tried to attain! [Oh the shame!] The Edge, Sundance, The Dixie Chicken and The Baja Yacht Club were favorite hang outs. I was in love with Doug and he and my best friend started dating behind my back. They ended up married and are now divorced! Heh, that bad Karma catches up with ya everytime folks!

5. Total music files on your PC:

I have the right to remain silent don't I? Okay, 398.

6. Song for listening to repeatedly when depressed:

Currently - Remember When By-Alan Jackson

I Miss My Friend By Darryl Worley

I'll Leave This World Loving You-Ricky Van Shelton

7. Song that sounds British, but isn't:

I have no idea here. Tubthumping? It prob is British though!

8. Song you love, band you hate:

Goodbye Earl By-The Dixie Chicks

9. A favorite song from the past that took ages to track down:

Picture By-Kid Rock & Cheryl Crowe - Mostly because I didn't know who sang it!

10. Bought the album for one good song:

Wilson Phillips

11. Worst Song to Get Stuck in your Head:

That DAMNED Peanut Butter n Jelly Time Song!!!

12. Best song to dump a beer on someone's head to, then storm out of the bar?

Redneck Woman By-Gretchen Wilson

13. Who should do this next?

Jennifer

Tasha

Pammie

Update From Iraq

2005-02-04T00:28:00.000-08:00

Good news from Iraq yesterday! B put in for his R&R leave a few days ago and found out that he will get to come home for 2 weeks sometime in May! *Does Happy Dance* At first we were thinking it would be sometime in July, so this was a nice bit of news for both of us! I don't know all the details yet, but they should be forthcoming in the next couple of months!

He's been moved into his permanent living quarters this week and they are very tiny! Despite that, he has purchased a satellite dish and microwave from some departing troops. He is still on the look-out for a small refrigerator. I think it's pretty cool that they can get this stuff in the middle of a war zone. He has also been looking for a coffee maker so that the guys can come hang out and chill when they get in from missions. I may end up sending one over, but he's been checking the PX for one at each of the bases they go to. I sent his first care package a few days ago with some kitchen necessities, home-made cookies and other goodies. I wasn't exactly thrilled to find out it will take 3 weeks for it to get there. I'm not too sure how good 3 week old cookies are gonna taste, but I guess we'll be finding out! B already has a request in for some rice crispy treats and I told him they may be stale by the time the package gets there. He said he didn't care if they were hard as a rock, he would still eat them! THAT'S HOW MUCH HE LOVES those things and if the man wants some hard-as-a-rock rice crispy treats, then by golly he'll get some!

They have been on a number of missions the past couple of weeks. During the first one, the insurgents fired an RPG [Rocket Propelled Grenade] at them and then a gun battle ensued. He said as soon as they started firing back, the insurgents fled on foot. Apparently they aren't real fond of targets that WILL ACTUALLY FIRE BACK at them! On another mission they found 3 IED's [Improvised Explosive Devices] along the road that they had to detonate before their vehicles could pass. Hearing about all this leaves me with some very mixed feelings. On one hand it makes me nervous to hear that they run into these kinds of situations, but then again, it makes me feel a little better knowing that they are able to spot trouble and handle it effectively. B of course, acts like it's no big deal! I beg to differ! It's a big f***ing deal when I hear someone has fired a grenade at someone I love, but hey, that's just me!

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Something You All Should Know...

2005-02-03T03:37:00.000-08:00

I DID NOT SHAVE MY LEGS THIS MORNING!

This morning during my shower, I came to the realization that I do not have to shave my legs FOR THE NEXT YEAR and there is no one here to complain about it. What a liberating feeling! I can grow my own fur boots if I want! There is no need for me to sacrifice little furry creatures for a pair of fur boots, when I can grow my own! That sounds almost like a PETA commercial doesn't it? Not that they would ever allow me to be a member of their little club or anything. Especially after that incident at KFC when I nailed one of their members up-side the head with a chicken bone after he handed me one of their lovely chicken abuse toys for children. That was a pretty good feeling too!

Tuesdays Tell-All

2005-02-01T15:36:00.001-08:00

It's that time again. Time for Tuesday's Tell-All and here are the questions. As always, I'll be the guinea pig and go first. Whether you've participated before or this is your first time here, don't be shy! All are welcomed to participate. Feel free to snag the questions and ask your own readers the same questions too!

This Weeks Questions:

-Who do you think will win the Super Bowl?
-Describe yourself using one word descriptions.
-What is the strangest excuse you have used in an effort to get out of a speeding ticket?
-Name one song that brings back fond memories for you.
- Name your favorite cartoon show.

My Answers:

1. Who do you think will win the Super Bowl?

The Patriots probably

2. Describe yourself using one word descriptions.

Caring, considerate, fun, sensitive, straightforward, compassionate, twisted, conservative, co-dependent, self-conscious, crude...

3. What is the strangest excuse you have given in an effort to get out of a speeding ticket?

LOL, I told an officer that I had to uh...#2 REALLY bad!!! It worked too!

4. Name one song that brings back fond memories for you.

The Eagles - I can't tell you why

5. Name your favorite cartoon show.

Sagwa - Love those cute little Siamese kittens!

Where Do I Sign Up?

2005-02-01T00:47:00.000-08:00

okay, here is your warning. If you are easily offended, hit the X now!

I found this article a while back and saved it because I thought it was kinda funny and now I can't find the link to it, but here it is anyway!

New penis grown on boy's arm

Doctors have grown a new penis on a Russian boy's arm after he lost his old one in a bizarre accident.
The 16-year-old, named only as Malik, lost his penis after receiving an electric shock while urinating on an electric wire.
Surgeons grew a new penis on his arm and have now moved it to his groin.
The Russian Clinical Hospital for Children surgeons created it by putting an empty latex cylinder in Malik's forearm and pumping a solution into it every day. The cylinder grew on the boy's arm for 10 months until it took on the shape of a penis.

Douglas Murray, a past president of the British Association of Plastic Surgeons, told Ananova this kind of plastic surgery was not uncommon.
Mr Murray said: "He would probably be able to stand up and urinate instead of having to sit and do so."

________________________________________________________

Now first of all, anyone who goes around pissing on electrical wires probably doesn't deserve a new penis, but who am I to begrudge a teenager a new pecker? Having said that, I'm curious if it's possible to have these kind folks grow me a nice firm ass and a new perky set of breasts!

The Day After

2005-01-31T04:22:00.000-08:00

Well it appears by all accounts that the election in Iraq went quite well. Despite the threat of danger, many Iraqis turned out in droves to let their voices be heard. One can only imagine the fear most of them felt as they headed out to the polls. A while back, I ran across this blog which is written by a young Iraqi woman, living in Baghdad. I have not been able to stop reading the incredible accounts of her life in Iraq. Through her words, she is able to give us insight into her world and culture that you will not find on any news site. In one of her recent entries, she spoke of the fear she and her family has felt about voting in yesterday's election. Her entry yesterday, although very short and to the point, brought tears to my eyes. Stop by and have a read!

It's been a week now and I am still waiting to hear from B. I was prepared for him to be out of touch for several days, but not for an entire week. I am really hoping now that the roads have reopened, that I will hear from him today or late tonight. I know that I am probably worried for nothing, but I need to hear from him in a really bad way right about now. *Keeping my fingers crossed*

Quick Update:

All is well! I received a phone call this evening and he's fine! I'd like to say I knew he would be, but the fact is that I'm a wuss when it comes to this. I'm new at this whole Military & Deployment thing. He's been there before, but I didn't know him then and all I can say is THANK THE LORD HE IS RETIRING AFTER THIS! Oh what a happy day that will be!

Turns out the phones and internet were down for a few days over there. The base is going through transition with new troops coming in, some going home. Internet equipment comes and goes with each move. To top it off, they had nightly missions that were taking place during hours that he is usually able to call or get online, not that he would have been able to call with the phones down anyway, but there ya have it. Whew! He's fine and I will someday learn not to be such a ninny! You guys are the bestest! Thank you for all the support! YOU GUYS ROCK!

I Shall Do My Part

2005-01-28T23:45:00.000-08:00

After not talking to him for several days, I finally got to talk to B again on Monday. He has been moved from Kuwait into Iraq. I can't even describe how much I was missing him, but he seemed to be happy that he's finally there. Although he wasn't yet in a more permanent housing situation, he said the conditions are much much better. We were able to spend several hours talking on IM, then he went over to the phone center and gave me a call. He was able to send several pictures, including the one below, with his "Somali Warlord" friend! [LOL, B said that, not me, and he was kidding of course!] Apparently they have become good friends and that is a running joke between the two of them.

He assured me that it was okay to post pictures. I will, however, always blur or remove names or other identifying information, so just ignore the big blur on Mr. Warlords cammo jacket. One can never be too careful. For all we know, some terrorist could very well be surfing the blog-world, during his coffee break as we speak and far be it from me to leak information to the enemy! Hey, it isn't so far fetched. They do have internet access! While looks may be deceiving, Iraq isn't the third world country it appears to be on television. Never fear Mr. Warlord! I shall protect thee from blog surfing terrorists!

When I last spoke to B on Monday, they were about to leave on an overnight mission. He said they were told to pack for up to four days in case they ran into road closures or other unforeseen events. I haven't heard from him since. I am guessing that they are helping with election security, or at least that's what I am hoping. All I can do for now is try to keep positive thoughts, pray that he is safe and provide plenty of blog content to keep the terrorists busy during the elections.

Yes, I know I have a twisted sense of humor, but there are times when humor comes in handy and this is one of them.

I'm Such a Slacker!

2005-01-25T23:44:00.000-08:00

I admit it! I am a professional slacker. I meant to post this on Tuesday. Why you ask? The answer is simple. I am naming Tuesday's in the world of Sque, Tuesday's Tell-All! It's a Meme of sorts. I will pose a list of 5 questions and you get to answer them here in comments and if you like, you can snag it, post it to your own blog and pose the questions to your own readers! Beware that some questions may be a bit risque at times! Not always, but...On occasion! Hey, if ya can't tell a bunch of strangers the most intimate details of your life, who can ya tell?

Okie dokie, here goes the Blogworlds first:

Tuesday's Tell-All! [But we're doing it on Wednesday!]

1. Describe something you like to eat, that others might find strange.
2. Name your favorite perfume/cologne.
3. If you could choose any place in the world to live, where would that be?
4. How old were you when you lost your virginity?
5. Name a television show that cannot tear yourself away from.

Okay...Here are my answers!

1. Describe something you like to eat, that others might find strange.

Croutons & Thousand Island dressing..Sort of as a dip

2. Name your favorite perfume/cologne.

Perfume - Oscar de la Renta

Cologne for men - Polo

3. If you could choose any place in the world to live, where would that be?

I'm a proud Native-Texan...I'd have to say Texas!

4. How old were you when you lost your virginity?

21

5. Name a television show that cannot tear yourself away from.

Fear Factor! I almost hate watching this show, but I cannot stop watching it once I see that it's on and god forbid that I find a Fear Factor Marathon! Ugh...This show keeps me on the verge of tossing my cookies.

Sand! Glorious Sand!

2005-01-22T17:09:00.000-08:00

It's been a crappy week! What else can you say about a week filled with sneezing, a stuffy and simultaneously runny nose, hobbling around on crutches, stressing over a new career move, a disconnected telephone because Verizon employees are a buncha nitwits that absolutely refuse to correct a year long dispute over a billing issue that is THEIR OWN FAULT and even though you've paid them, the damn phone won't be turned back on until Monday!?!? We go through this every few months and quite frankly, I am willing to MOVE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY if that's what it takes to put and end to my never-ending dispute with the phone company from HELL! I've had similar experiences with Verizon [SATAN'S SPAWN] Wireless, but hey, their DSL service rocks, so I guess I'll continue to be a disgruntled Verizon customer. I mean it's not like THERE IS ANY OTHER FRIGGIN TELEPHONE COMPANY I CAN SWITCH TO around here, but ...I digress.

So today I go to my mailbox, where I found my very first letter from Brian, my sweetheart of a guy who is GOD KNOWS WHERE at this point because we haven't talked for several days now. It was post marked January 3rd and it took some 19 days to find its way to me! I sat in my car, ripped it open, pulled the letter out and what do I find? Sand! Yes, you read that right! Sand poured out from the pages, right into my lap. I'm not sure how it got there. Perhaps Brian was playing in a Kuwaiti sandbox whilst putting pen to paper and professing his love to me across the miles. I suppose anything is possible. Maybe the mail truck/camel [?] got stuck in a sand storm or perhaps a really big sand dune somewhere in the Kuwaiti desert. I sat in my car for 30 minutes, with tears streaming down my face, reading it over and over.

After my tear fest, I went out and paid some bills, then started on a care package to send for Valentine's Day. This will be the first of the care packages I plan on sending over the next year, and it will be the guinea pig of the bunch. There is no telling how long it will take to get there! The last time we spoke, we agreed that I should just send things to his Iraq address since he won't be at the Kuwait address much longer. I'm hoping that he isn't stressed about missing this Valentine's Day. I know that he loves me and that we will have many, many Valentine's Day's to celebrate once he's back. I'll be happy with a letter, and I am thrilled with the one I got today and I have to admit that's the BEST DAMNED SAND I have ever seen!

The Search Goes On...

2005-01-20T01:47:00.000-08:00

American Idol has started it's 4th season! I haven't missed a season yet and if I can make it through the first several weeks of torturous audition shows, this season will be no different! My friend D and I usually watch it together or we hang out on the phone and critique the performances! I totally need to get a life, but since I've royally screwed up my ankle, that isn't gonna be happening anytime soon!

A number of things have been going on as of late. I am still on the lookout for the perfect job! I've been searching internet and want ads for something, anything really, that will spark some interest. Since blogging doesn't seem to get the bills paid, I suppose I'll have to keep looking. I was toying around with the idea of becoming a Doula or perhaps a midwife. I have always been very intrigued by the whole birthing process. I've been to a birth or two. Of course that doesn't make me an expert or anything, but the interest is there. The only recurring thought I have on that particular profession is that it probably wouldn't take much to change my mind about having a baby of my own someday. I mean, I can handle the pain of childbirth just fine, as long as the pain belongs to someone else!

I freely admit that I'm a wuss. I've been on the verge of screaming every day this week with my latest round of mid-winter allergies. I can only thank god that Brian isn't here to watch me as I slumber with my nose plugged full of Kleenex! I'm sure the thought of me hobbling around on crutches, with Kleenex hanging out of my nose is just more sexiness than he could probably stand! At this rate, I may never have to use birth control again!

Speaking of Brian...Their plans to make the move into Iraq on the 15th were cancelled. He seemed a little disappointed about it. I'm sort of torn about it. On one hand, I feel like he is a little more safe in Kuwait, but I also know that the conditions at Anaconda will be better than the camp in Kuwait. The good news is that he had a couple of days to try and recuperate from the Flu! My phone is on the fritz so I didn't hear from him yesterday [Wednesday], but last I heard, they had no idea when they would be headed to Iraq.

I can't believe he's only been gone a few weeks. It seems like he's been gone forever and this year is going to just drag on forever...I can just feel it! Oh well, at least I'll have American Idol to keep me occupied until the end of May.

So the search goes on for the next American Idol and a new career path for Sque! Hmmm...I'd make a helluva AI judge! Now there is a job I could totally live with and that would kill two birds with one stone!

Who Say's You Can't Have The Best of Both Worlds?

2005-01-16T23:23:00.000-08:00

Want to work off those excess holiday pounds with a free fitness-club membership? Ya gotta chow down on some fast food first.
In an unusual marketing plan with New Year's resolutions in mind, Bally Total Fitness is teaming up with Louisville, Kentucky based - Yum Brands Inc. to offer an unlimited number of four-week memberships at Bally Fitness Clubs.
The only requirement: Buy burgers, fries, pizza or the like at one of Yum's more than 18,000 U.S. restaurants.
Customers who eat at any of five Yum restaurant chains - Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, KFC, Long John Silver's or A&W Restaurants - during the month of January can obtain a membership to one of Bally's more than 400 nationwide facilities simply by presenting a proof-of-purchase receipt for any amount.

The passes must be activated by Feb. 7, 2005.

Figures! There isn't a Bally's where I live, but I thought I'd pass on the information!

Hide-n-Seek in Iraq

2005-01-15T08:10:00.000-08:00

Regardless of which political party you happen to agree with about the war, this article is worth reading. We could argue all day long about whether or not the war was justified, but the fact of the matter is that arguing over it is pointless. We are now at war. I think the article linked above helps put things in perspective.

Be All You Can Be on Tylenol & Fishticks!

2005-01-12T23:13:00.000-08:00

I spoke with Brian yesterday morning. After he got back from his weekend training expedition, he and his tentmates woke up to find water dripping on them and several inches of water inside the tent. Lovely! Now he seems to be coming down with the Flu. Apparently the only solution for the Flu around there is Tylenol. Whats that? You have the Flu? Nooo problem! Here's a Tylenol, now go load that truck!

The more I learn about the military, the less impressed I become. It has been shocking to find out that our government doesn't take better care of its military personnel! These men and women give up so much to serve their country, put their lives on the line and all they get is fucking TYLENOL for the FLU??? Even during his two month stay at Ft. Dix, I was stunned to hear that they were served baked fish for lunch AND dinner EVERY fucking day until he left for Kuwait. I mean what the fuck? I find it difficult to believe that we cannot do better than this for people who have put their lives on hold and are about to walk smack dab into the middle of a war zone! I can't help but wonder about the quality of treatment he might receive should GOD FORBID, Brian ever become seriously injured. It amazes me that most of us have been unaware of things like this and I'm even more amazed that we haven't heard [at least I haven't] complaints from military personnel regarding these issues. I don't suppose we'll be seeing any segments about this on any future edition of 60 Minutes.

Brian will be leaving for a 1 day mission this weekend and then he and his company will be headed to the base in Iraq. The good news about this is that they won't have to risk life and limb just to get there. They will be flying!

Conditions at Anaconda should be much better. From what Brian tells me and from all the research I've been doing, they will be living in air conditioned 12x35 foot trailers that are separated into 3 rooms and 2 people are assigned to each room.

Four cafeteria-style dining facilities are on the post, run by civilian contractors. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and midnight dinner are served. A variety of food is served including hot meals, fresh fruit, and beverages. There is also a PX where soldiers can buy canned goods, snacks and other various items.

In June 2004, a health clinic opened on the post where most illnesses can be treated and they also provide dental and eye services.

For entertainment, there are two swimming pools, which were built by the Iraqis before the war. Also, a first-run movie theater and fitness gym are operated on base. Religious services are provided regularly by military chaplains, and there are smaller events run by individual units. I have also been told that mini versions of Burger King and Pizza Hut opened there in mid-October, 2004. Other amenities include wireless internet and telephone banks.

Apparently Anaconda is the largest support base in Iraq, and has been nicknamed "Mortaritaville" because of the frequency of mortar/rocket attacks on the base. As of mid-October 2004, an article in the Seattle Times reported the facility, home to roughly 22,500 US troops and an additional 2,500 contractors, had been on the receiving end of roughly two attacks per day since July. [EEEEEK!!]

Now don't get me wrong here. Mortar attacks aside, I am thrilled that Brian will have all this to make the next year a bit more bearable for him. I'm just trying to understand how a camp in the middle of the Iraqi desert, under mortar attack, can provide so much, yet here at home all we can feed them is fish sticks!

Just Curious...

2005-01-10T11:50:00.000-08:00

Is it just ME being anal retentive and totally O.C.D. and overly territorial when I just about have an aneurysm big enough to explode my entire head over the fact that one of my colleagues used MY desk at work to eat his lunch and then proceeds to leave bits of chocolate and spaghetti sauce on my desk planner AND in my middle desk drawer?!?

I know that was a huge run on sentence, but during times like this who has time for proper sentence structure?!? Not that I even know what that is. I'm just sayin'.

100 Things About me

2005-01-10T07:56:00.000-08:00

1. I like to cook.

2. I like for things in my life to be consistent.

3. My favorite color is Red.

4. I have a difficult time with those who aren't decisive. For Pete's sake, just tell me where you want to eat, what movie you want to see or shut the hell up when I make the choice for you and you are unhappy with it.

5. My oldest friend and I met in first grade.

6. I adore authentic-Mexican food.

7. I find most [not all] women too be very catty.

8. I have absolutely no patience for bullshit.IE...People who can't drive, those who waste my time with details I do not need, people who refuse to listen, general stupidity, that kinda thing!

9. I obsess about germs and washing my hands.

10. I hit a cow when I was a senior in high school. It landed in the bed of the truck, I took it home with me and my parents butchered it.

11. I have recurring dreams about my teeth crumbling.

12. I think people take political correctness entirely too far. I cannot stand the fact that some of us think the world should conform to our way of thinking!

13. I am a Christian. [I originally typed "I am a Christina" LOL]

14. I'm an animal person. [When I'm not hitting or running over them with my car]

15. I think people who do not like cats are very insecure.

16. I am not a morning person.

17. I am a compulsive list maker, but I usually forget that I made one. My purse is full of various lists for groceries and things to do, but I never look at them after I make them until I decide to clean out my purse!

18. I hate playing 20 questions first thing in the morning. Playing this game with me any earlier than 1 hour after I wake up is a sure fire way to see me breathe fire and reduce you to a pile of ashes.

19. I love to laugh and make others laugh [when I'm not reducing them to little piles of ashes].

20. I have a very warped sense of humor.

21. It is very difficult to offend me with humor.

22. I tend to overthink things. A LOT!

23. I'm not sure how this happened, but I kinda like doing laundry.

24. I hate to clean house, but apparently there is no cleaning fairy. I do clean on occasion, but I plan on hiring someone to do that for me in the future.

25. I hate dating.

26. For the most part, I like being single.

27. I frequently fall asleep in the bathtub.

28. I am a conservative minded person.

29. I think it's a good thing Darwinism exists.

30. I love to BBQ and I grill some mean Ribeye Steaks.

31. I will never divulge the secret recipe.

32. I can be very sarcastic and I enjoy bantering with people that are fun and quick-witted.

33. I am missing that shop til you drop gene that most women tend to have. I hate shopping. I go in, get what I need and leave. Don't ever ask me to go shopping. You will hate me!

34. I have never had a one night stand.

35. I really miss my grandparents!

36. I love pulling pranks on people.

37. I am adopted.

38. I've always felt like I was just given away like an unwanted pet.

39. I have 1 sister, 2 step brothers, 1 step sister and 2 half brothers. 3 mothers and 3 fathers. I am also the oldest, the middle child and an only child! Now figure that out!

40. My parents are the mom and dad who raised me and nothing in this world can change that.

41. That's the most important thing I have ever learned.

42. If my tennis shoes get dirty, I trash them and just buy a new pair.

43. I see no real use for pubic hair.

44. If someone tells me I can't do something, it makes me want to do it even more.

45. I am totally in to kitchen gadgets.

46. I am a Dr Pepper freak.

47. I don't drink coffee, but I adore the smell of it.

48. I hate the fact that abortion even exists.

49. My favorite flower is a Gardenia.

50. Water is soothing to me. The sight, sound and smell of it just totally relaxes me.

51. I have a hard time being honest with people when I know I may hurt their feelings, but I always try to tell the truth.

52. I am not a very good multi-tasker.

53. Thunderstorms, rainy days and over-cast days are the best days in the world!

54. I hate clutter.

55. My taste in home decor changes like the wind.

56. I can't stand to be hot and I prefer to sleep with the a/c set at 65.

57. I have a huge fear of abandonment.

58. I should probably seek some therapy for that, but it ain't gonna happen in this lifetime.

59. I hated piano lessons.

60. It drives me nuts when someone loses their train of thought, and I have to sit through 14 other stories before they ever get back to the end of the first one. My mother is very guilty of this!

61. I'm not much on drinking.

62. Plus I cry when I toss my cookies!

63. I refuse to cry in front of others.

64. I am very ~in~ to big boy toys...ie, vehicles, large screen TV's, top of the line audio/video equipment, camera's, pc's, etc. Keep the diamonds. I like toys!

65. I am a closet NASCAR fan.

66. If you're gay, I don't need an announcement. In all liklihood, I already know or I will figure it out when you introduce someone as your date. I am not so dense that I need to be told. Really...I never announced my heterosexuality. People eventually figured it out on their own.

67. I don't like to give unsolicited advice, but that doesn't often stop me from offering it.

68. I hate drama. Spare me please.

69. It is my hope that I will never find myself in front of a news crew describing how the tornado sounded just like a freight train, because 1. I don't prefer to ever see a tornado and 2. I do not wish the fact that I sound like a southern hick broadcasted on the national news!

70. I despise adultery and if you are committing adultery, I am not the person to confide in.

71. I talk and sing in my sleep quite frequently.

72. I talk open and freely about anything that comes to my mind.

73. I hate it when men come on to me like they have a raging hard-on.

74. When someone has feelings for me I am usually clueless unless they flat out tell me. I am that dense and I definitely need an announcement for that.

75. Although I am a decent swimmer, I'm a little paranoid about drowning.

76. I'm gonna be needing a boob job. *smirks*

77. I don't often message people on my IM lists because I feel like I am intruding most of the time.

78. I am very competitive.

79. My family is not very close.

80. I am however, very close to my daddy and his side of the family.

81. I am a certified florist.

82. I am looking to change careers and I am not interested in pursuing anything I am trained to do. Go figure!

83. I am 100% committed to having a fabulous relationship with my future husband.

84. I will only marry if that person can commit 100% to the same.

85. I don't hold a grudge.

86. I love to country dance.

87. I prefer action movies.

88. I have a very weak tummy and gag at anything even remotely foul smelling. In fact, you can just talk about something gross and I will start wretching.

89. I am a very picky eater and I hate for people to try and convince me to try something I know I don't like.

90. I despise being startled awake...Hence, my disdain for alarm clocks!

91. If you send me a chain letter or some other email to which I "must" respond or something terrible will happen to me, I will permanently block you from sending me email. WTF is your problem anyway? I don't need more bad luck!

92. My favorite actor is Tommy Lee Jones.

93. I love backyard cookouts...Barbecues...whatever you wanna call them. My house, your house...doesn't matter.

94. I like to watch Bull Riding.

95. I like fishing.

96. I was born in Houston, Texas and lived there until I was almost 6.

94. Eventually, I would like to build my dreamhouse and live in the country.

95. Patience is not one of my stronger virtues.

96. I don't really like making plans. I'm more of a spur of the moment kinda girl.

97. I think the smell of Polo Cologne is orgasmic.

98. I laugh uncontrollably when I see someone fall and I really wish I wouldn't do that.

99. I pray frequently and silently before each meal...even if I am alone.

100. I am chronically late and my dad says I will be late to my own funeral, which is okay because they really can't start without me can they?

101. I despise drinking and driving and more often than not, I volunteer to be the designated driver.

102. I don't need to drink to have a good time.

103. I adore cats and could very easily wind up becoming some weird old cat lady if I'm not careful.

104. I totally dig dogs too, but not as much as I dig cats.

105. The most watched channel at my house is Animal Planet.

106. I love to watch the show "Cops" because I think nothing is funnier than reality.

107. I would never have enough patience to be a cop. [See numbers 8 & 95]

108. Halloween is my favorite "holiday", followed closely by Christmas.

109. I am entirely too sensitive for my own good.

110. I am very proud of my Texas heritage.

111. I really want to learn more about html and CSS, but I don't think I have the patience to learn it. [Again, see number 95]

112. I would love to witness the power of a really strong hurricane, but only if I could view it in guaranteed safety!

To be continued...

2005-01-10T05:32:00.000-08:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

You Might be a Liberal If...

2005-01-08T12:01:00.000-08:00

[As a public service, and with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, here are the early warning signs that reveal if you, or someone you care about, just might be a liberal.]

* You think that protestors outside nuclear power plants are dedicated activists, but protestors outside abortion clinics are dangerous zealots interfering with a legal activity.

* You believe that more federal regulations will make your life better.

* You believe that even though the top 20 percent of taxpayers pay 80 percent of income taxes, that the rich are not paying their “fair share.”

* You think that Rush Limbaugh’s listeners are mindless “dittoheads,” but you have never doubted anything that you heard from Michael Moore.

* You believe that the network news is a better indicator of what “real” news is than talk radio, Internet news sites, and blogs.

* You believe that there was never, ever a problem with biased news coverage until Fox News went on the air.

* You believe that Mikhail Gorbachev deserves more credit for losing the Cold War than Ronald Reagan deserves for winning it.

* You mentally subtract 100 points from someone’s IQ if the person speaks with a Southern accent.

* You think that Dan Rather got a raw deal.

* You think that the phrase “separation of church and state” is in the Constitution.

* You pride yourself on your global awareness, global sensitivity and global outlook, but can’t name your state legislator or school board representative.

* You are dedicated to helping the poor, the downtrodden and the less fortunate, but you have never given blood.

* You believe that a woman should make it on her own, without depending on her husband (except for Hillary Clinton).

* You believe that professional, working women should never be judged on their appearance (except for Katherine Harris).

* You believe that rich people should not be allowed to contribute so much money to candidates for office (except for George Soros).

* You feel a deep sense of common cause with oppressed groups, such as Hispanic immigrants (except for Cuban Americans fleeing Castro).

* You believe that a mother’s wishes for her child, especially a mother’s last, dying wish for her child, should outweigh the wishes of a father who had long before deserted his family (unless the child is named Elian Gonzalez).

* You have no problem with Hollywood movie starts flying around in private jets to give speeches on the evils of SUVs.

* You think that raising taxes will reduce the budget deficit.

* You are more concerned, more often, with the rights of convicted felons than you are with the rights of small business owners.

* You uphold a woman’s right to choose, unless a woman chooses adoption, chooses to be a stay-at-home mom, chooses to homeschool, or chooses to start a business.

* You are more concerned with Vice President Cheney’s links to Halliburton than with Saddam Hussein’s links to international terrorism.

* You have used the phrase, “in Europe, the government pays for health care and vacation,” without irony.

* You are worried about how the French view Americans.

* You believe that nativity scenes should be banned from public view, but that anyone objecting to pornography "only has to look the other way".

* And finally, you are almost certainly a liberal if you refuse to admit that you’re a liberal, and accuse anyone of calling you a neo-con.

Oh What a Relief!

2005-01-06T08:22:00.000-08:00

I talked to Brian again this morning. So far we are averaging about 1 phone call per day, which is A LOT more than I ever expected! I can't tell you how happy I am about that! There is a 9 hour time difference between here and Kuwait, so phone calls come either around midnight or between 8 and 9 am! At least there is a pattern to this madness! lol He had some good news of sorts. The commanders and some of the troops were able to speak with several of the people that Brian and his Company will be replacing. It was a huge relief to hear that they haven't had much of a problem with the IED's [Improvised Explosive Devices] that we read about here daily! Apparently there is a trained crew that goes ahead of the Convoy to sweep for these things to make sure the Transportation Company is safe. He said the convoy moves along at speeds of 65 MPH and pretty much everything that could house these IED's [guardrails, trees, sign posts, buildings, etc] have been removed, so other than on the road itself, there really isn't any place to hide these things. The sweepers come through and get rid of anything that could possibly contain explosives and then the Convoy can move through safely! I don't know of these people are just really good at what they do, or if there just isn't a lot of action happening in the area he will be working in, but in any case, I am happy happy happy to hear this news! In the year that the current Transportation Company has been there, they have only had one incident involving an IED. It exploded and one guy was injured, but he drove like hell to get out of there and kept going until he made it to help. I guess everyone behind the explosion wasn't allowed to pass or something. I'm guessing, here so...Um, yeah...We'll just call it an educated guess after all the crap I've read on this stuff!

I probably won't be hearing from Brian for the next few days. He is leaving on some kind of training mission on Friday and won't be back until Sunday. He will still be in Kuwait, in fact they're only going about 30 minutes away from the base. They will be doing military training...Stuff..Like shooting and tactical type national guard ...Stuff. Yeah..Something like that! Heck, I dunno what it's called. Most of our conversations are a blur since they usually occur in the middle of the night, or shortly after I wake up! I just realized that we haven't gone a day without at least talking to each other since the day we met!

Time to Blow off Some Steam

2005-01-03T14:59:00.000-08:00

This article makes me want to cry. Not only is this crap happening in Iraq, but also in Kuwait?!?! And here I thought Brian was relatively safe for now while he is waiting to go into Iraq. Oh no, we can't have me believing that now can we? I understand why we're fighting this war, I support it and I understand why Brian is there, but part of me wants to say to hell with it it, why bother. In my heart I want to be as much of a support as I can be to Brian, but its so fucking hard to muster it up when I know that there are so many who want to blow him to pieces simply because he's THERE!

I have no clue how I am going to get through this next year with my sanity. Every time I talk to Brian I'm thinking it may be the last time. I have no idea how military wives and families keep from going insane reading things like this. I have no idea where they pull their strength from and I have no clue how they can manage getting through it more than once when a family member goes back for a second time. I guess all I can do is pray for his safety, pray for enough strength and courage for both of us and hope for the best.

Perhaps I should just stop reading and watching the news! Now there's a spiffy idea!

Under Construction

2005-01-02T13:04:00.000-08:00

I am attempting to add a little flair to the template I'm using for this site! I know dick about web design, but if all goes well, you will soon be seeing a button that will allow you to email me...Should you even want to. I will also be adding a colored scroll bar, a clock...Indicating the time and date here in Central Texas and I am changing the text colors and sizes. Hopefully it won't look like my blog exploded when I'm done. If all goes well, maybe I'll try some really cool stuff! Yeah right!

Ten Thousand Miles Apart

2004-12-31T20:54:00.000-08:00

It's our first New Years Eve and Brian is in Kuwait, training and waiting to go into Iraq. I have decided that although I hate this separation with a passion, it only has to be as difficult as we make it. I have a lot to be thankful for. I am thankful for meeting him. Thankful that we were able to cut to the chase and not play games when it came to acknowledging our feelings for each other. Thankful for so many things that I could go on for days and not cover them all.

The truth of the matter is that this war is taking place with much better technology than wars past. During the world wars and Vietnam, I can't imagine there were many telephone calls to loved ones at home and I have talked to Brian 5 times since he left on December 29th. I couldn't be there in person to see him off, but I talked to him during the long wait to board the flight. We were able to talk again as he sat on the plane, waiting to depart. He called me during a layover in Germany and he called me when he got to Kuwait to let me know he made it there safely. We have had at least 1 phone call per day since he arrived! How many soldiers were able to do that during past wars? There are AT&T phone banks available at the camp. There are also internet cafe's that Brian can utilize and once he gets to the base in Iraq, he will have wireless internet available to him at the barracks. An internet connection way better than he had at the base here in the States! He has his MP3 player and his laptop to watch movies, check email, surf the net and listen to music with as time permits. Not to mention the arsenal of movies he took along to watch! We will both be utilizing webcams and instant messengers to see and communicate with each other even more. I am thankful for the technology he has available to him to make this a bit easier on us. Of course, it goes without saying that it is a far cry from the luxuries of home and he is still in an incredible amount of danger there, but I have faith in his ability to use good judgment and that he has been trained very well.

We do indeed have many things to be thankful for as we embark on the new year. 2005 shall be a good year and although we are ten thousand miles apart, we are very much together in our hearts.

Just Shoot me Already!

2004-12-30T06:15:00.000-08:00

This job I have. It offers a certain amount of amusement for me most of the time, but there are days I wonder if my co-workers were dropped on their heads at birth. Some days, I would rather be giving birth to a flaming porcupine, on a bed of sharded glass, during a hemorrhoid attack, than step into the same building with these people. I have had enemas that were more interesting than the conversations a few of my co-workers have to offer over lunch. I have a new policy today that will no longer allow my fellow co-workers to join me for their mid-day grazing ritual. This afternoon, I added supervisors to that well-thought-out policy. I'm wondering if I should send out a memo or just inform them of the new policy via smoke signal.

What else can I say! Tis the season to be jolly!

That's What Friends Are For!

2004-12-29T23:47:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I told my friend Casey about how Brian and I met each other and that he left for Iraq earlier that morning. She sobbed...I sobbed, we sobbed together on the phone like a couple of ninnies. It was a huge sob-fest if I've ever been to one. It's not the first time one of us has sobbed on the phone, but it is definitely the first time we have sobbed in unison. I ask you: What more could you ask for in a friend? I mean, it would be TOTALLY nice if she won the lottery and shared it with me, but the fact that she openly SOBS WITH ME on the phone is just more than any friend could ask for! Seriously!

Canada Seemed Like A Much Better Idea to Me!

2004-12-29T04:54:00.000-08:00

Well...That's it. My sweetheart left for Iraq at 6:50 this morning. We said our I Love You's, we cried, we said our I Love You's over and over, we talked about getting engaged, we said more I Love You's, we talked about making and raising babies, we were in the middle of some more I Love You's and then his cell phone battery died. He was on the plane, waiting for take off. I hope he fares better than his cell phone battery did!

Note to God: Please keep him safe and bring him home to me, alive and in one piece!

WTF is a Sque you ask?

2004-12-28T23:09:00.000-08:00

Sque is the way I perceive things. It's my take on the things happening in my life and around me. We all have the ability to Sque things and things often get Sque'd to suit our needs; at times we Sque things just to cope and other times, well ...we're just naturally Squed people!

My name is Suzy Q and it's nice to meet you Internet!